I Guess I'm Sorry [S.M]

Chapter 56

Arya's POV

I kept talking to Shawn for another two hours. It was so strange to see him like this, but he was very interested in learning what he couldn't remember.

Around 8 o'clock, me phone went off and it was Karen.

A: Hey Karen

I said as I excused myself from Shawn's room.

K: hunny where are you? Are you alright?

A: yes I am, I am at the hospital. Shawn's awake.

K: oh my god! We're coming at once!

A: yes, but Karen just know that he has a memory loss, he just remember up until some months before I met him...

K: oh darling I'm so sorry, but we're coming anyway.

She said and hung up. I walked back in to Shawn and we kept on talking until our family got there.

They all walked in and Karen ran over to hug him.

"Mum!" Shawn said excited.

They all hugged him, but Sierra had to present herself again. I saw that this was hard for all of us, even Shawn. And I saw the pain in Sierra's eyes. They had a special bond, no one would ever be able to break it. Well Mr Coma did.

We all talked to him for another hour, but then the nurse asked us to leave to give him some peace. She said I could stay though, since I was his wife.

I sat down in one of the chairs while the nurse checked on Shawn.

When the nurse left we just sat there for a while, not talking. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence though, it was actually very nice.

Shawn finally fell asleep. I sat on my phone for a bit before I sneaked out of the room.

My family had walked over to the cute book cafe and I went there to find them. I found their table and sat down.

"What do you want Arya? It's my treat." Manny said to me. I saw that they already had some coffees and food at the table.

"I could really need a strong coffee and some pancakes to be honest." I said and sighed.

"It's coming right up." Manny said and went to order my food.

A waitress came with my food soon after and I don't think pancakes had ever tasted so good. I was so emotional and I guess I hid it with eating delicious food.

"I talked to the doctor Arya, and he said that we could try showing him pictures to try to trigger his memory. I think I want to show him one from your wedding." Karen said and looked at me with sympathy.

"Yeah, that seems good." I answered and took a sip of my coffee.

After we finished our meal, the Mendes family decided to go home, it was still early, and this had been an emotional morning. I decided to stay with Shawn, try to trigger his memory with pictures of us.

I sat by Shawn's side and showed him some pictures from our wedding. He had tears in his eyes and looked at me.

"You were so beautiful, and I'm so sorry that I doesn't remember any of it, I really wish I did Arya." He said with so much longing in his voice.

"Yeah I wish so too." I said. "I'm gonna go, try to get some sleep Shawn." I said and kissed his cheek before leaving the room.

I had tears streaming down my face as I went out. Karen let me have the car and I drove it back to the Mendes house. I walked in and said hi to everyone.

They were all seated in the living room with hot cocoa and some presents were around them. I wanted more than anything to sit down with them and celebrate Christmas, but my heart was too heavy. My emotions were all over the place so I excused myself and went up to my room. I laid face down onto the bed and stayed there for a while.

How was I supposed to cope with this? Shawn, my one and only, my husband, my best friend, doesn't remember me. How am I still alive? I don't even know how I'm still functioning, maybe the realization haven't hit me yet?

At least I know that the abortion was the right choice. What if I had kept it and Shawn didn't remember and we had to deal with a kid together. That would be beyond awkward if he never regained his memory.

I didn't really feel like celebrating Christmas, so I told the others that I'll be going home. I packed my stuff and left them within the hour. I went to take the train and when I sat down in my seat I plugged in my EarPods. I pushed shuffle on my playlist and suddenly where were you in the morning started playing and I didn't know what to do. I immediately skipped the song, but I paused the next one.

My mind was racing and I couldn't concentrate on the music. All my memories came flooding back, the one night stand at Shawn's birthday that led to this song, the trip to Malta when I figured it was about me, the LV photo shoot when I broke down crying because I heard the sing over the radio. This was too much for me, but luckily I was able to hold it in till I got home. I got home and sat my bag down and walked out on the balcony. It was cold, but I didn't bother.

I stood there as the tears went down my face, I was very tired of crying all the time, but how could I not? My feelings deep down in my heart was being ripped apart, and everything was because I started a fight with Shawn. I don't know how many times people have told me that it's not my fault, but deep down I know it is.

My cheeks became very cold because of my tears and I walked back inside. I saw my phone laying on the counter, someone was calling me.

It was Jack.

Another update! Sorry for the wait! Vote and comment please ❤️❤️

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