I Guess I'm Sorry [S.M]

Chapter 17

Arya's POV

I slowly opened the door and saw that there was no light on. I continued to open the door and then I saw him. Standing there in the dark, only his phone lighting up his face. His eyes shot up and found mine at once.

"Hey, I didn't think you were home, I'll just leave sorry..." I said and was about to lock the door again, but he said my name.

"No don't leave. I just got home, I didn't even reach to turn the lights on." He chuckled. He turned the lights on and I walked further in and closed the door behind me.

His next move surprised me a lot. He just walked right up to me and engulfed me in a hug. I inhaled his scent. I missed him so much. I stretched my arms around his torso and hugged him tightly. I could feel him relaxing and sighing.

I pulled away and looked at him. He had tears in his eyes.
"I'm so sorry that we fell apart and that I couldn't keep you close." He said between sniffles.

"No, no don't blame yourself Shawn, this was both of us, mostly me. I started the whole conversation about us being apart-" he cut me of.
"Yeah but we both felt it before that and that was definitely my fault, I couldn't protect you while we were in London and that's all my fault." He said, his voice breaking.

"I missed you so much Arya, you can't imagine." He said hugging me again.

"Well I have been living in hell without you so I can imagine, yes." I said. "I'm so broken without you and I know this might be weird to ask, but would you like to be my boyfriend again?" I said nervously.

"I would love too Arya. And it's not weird at all, the way things ended was weird, but I hope that shit is over, cause I missed you like crazy." He said. As the last sentence left his lips I jumped up at him and kissed him passionately.

"I love you so much and- I can't- live without you." I said between kisses. He kissed me back and then pulled away.
"I have literally craved this for the past two months." He said and kissed me roughly.

Things got heated and at least we didn't need to use protection cause I won't get pregnant anyway.

We laid in Shawn's bed just looking at each other. I brushed my fingers through his sweaty hair and he caressed my waist with his hand.

"I love you endlessly and I think I just proved that to you." Shawn said with a chuckle.

"Yeah and remember when you said couples get out strong or they break? Maybe we needed to break and then we could be strong." I said and kissed him again.

"Yeah, but I will never ever let you slip away like that again. I love you way too much to ever let you go." He said and brushed my cheek with his thumb.

"But how was life when we were apart?" He said looking me right in my eyes.

"It was terrible, I cried every night, first for the loss of my baby, but then for the loss of you, and Sierra has to take care of me. She literally turned into a mom and I can't thank her enough." I said, the guilt eating my at the thought of what an awful sister I am.

"Hey she loves you, that's why she care so much about you and takes good care of you. But she won't have to do that anymore cause now I'm back and never letting you out of my sight." He said and kissed me.

I would never grow tired of these kisses.

"Thank you Shawn... and by the way, happy birthday, you're officially 21." I said and laughed.
"Oh my god, I feel so old!" He said and looked down at me.

"Let's just sleep here tonight, and not bother to get up in the morning." Shawn said.

"Yeah... I'm in."

"But can I ask you something Arya?"

"Of course my love." I answered.

"What were you doing at my door in the first place?" I asked confused.

"Oh, um I missed you a little and since it was your birthday I didn't think you were home, so I literally planned finding the apartment empty and then take it as a rejection and then go home and cry some more. But there you were. Your own flesh and blood." I answered honestly.

"Well I kinda left early because I felt like I missed something, or had forgotten something. But I feel complete now, so I guess I just craved you deep down inside." He said with a smirk playing on his lips.

"Are you trying to be romantic or a perv? I can't tell." I said with a light laugh.

"Oh shut it!"
"Um Arya..?"

"Yes, Shawn?"

"Did you... did you... you know, have someone else... while we were... well apart...?" Shawn said, lightly blushed and not looking at my face.

"If you're asking if I slept with someone else, the answer is no. Lord, I barely left my apartment! And if I did it was with my sister. I couldn't even write music, and it's my job now so..." I told him honestly.

"Good.. good. I mean it wouldn't be bad, but I'm glad you didn't because I didn't and it would be very embarrassing if you moved on very quickly and I just sat here like-"

"Shawn! Shut the shithole! We are together now, and even if one of us had done it, it wouldn't matter! Because I love you."

"I love you too. And I hope you want to make music again, you're so good at it."

And then we fell asleep in each other's arms. After two months apart, this was definitely the best way to get together again.

I woke up early in the morning with a weird feeling. I quietly walked out of the bedroom to let Shawn continue his deep sleep. I went to the kitchen and made some coffee, and sat down and drank it at the balcony. The weird feeling didn't go away, and then it turned into a nauseous feeling instead. I hurried my way to the bathroom and puked. I can't be pregnant so that's out of the picture, and I probably just felt sick after a roller coaster of emotions.

I got up and didn't tell Shawn when he woke up, why tell him when it's not anything serious?

Hey! Long time no see, well I'm back and I have so much inspiration now❤️❤️

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