A life in the Dark

C h a p t e r F o r t y O n e

F r i d a y 3 0 t h J u n e
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Nearly three weeks after exam week, and Logan and I have actually managed to not fuck up our relationship yet, despite what Eve attempted to do. It affected me for a solid five minutes, honestly,  but then I realised the power of the English language: she had said "we used to hang out". Used to. As in past tense.

As in they don't hang out any more.

I know how he used to be. The fighting, the talking back to teachers... the flirting. Maybe they weren't actually something, or... or maybe she made it up? To get inside my head?

I don't know why I care. It's not like it affects me what he's done in the past. At least it shouldn't.

I shook my head, trying to focus on my work. Only twenty minutes of lunch left yet I haven't written more than one line of my English so far. I put down everything with a sigh and reached for my water bottle. Taking a long sip, closing my eyes and leaning backs against the cage's fence, I pushed all my thoughts as far down as I could, hoping to declutter my mind.

After a while, the soft thump of footsteps approached. It was one of the boys, based off of the lack of clicking heels. I finally opened my eyes when they stopped, and found Finley smiling down at me.

"Hey."

"Hey," I smiled back, moving my stuff to clear a space for him.

"What'ya doing?" he glanced at my opened book, which was still lopsidedly placed on my lap.

"Homework," I shrugged, tidying up my sheets and closing my book.

"Your teachers are still giving you homework?"

"It's more like revising A-level things early."

"Oh wow." A comfortable silence fell on us as we both watched the guys playing '1-T-1-B'.

"Ok," he broke the silence eventually. "I've been meaning to ask you as in a few weeks we might not ever see each other again, and-"

"You're not staying here?"

"No, unfortunately. Im not sure I'll get the grades to be able to," he laughed lightly. "But, regardless I wanted to ask if you'd like to go out...with me?"

I froze.

This was happening?

I looked into his eyes and knew he was being sincere. Why? I thought. This is going to hurt our friendship, because I don't think I can...

Over his shoulder, I noticed a female figure, skirt practically invisible, watching us. Jadyn.

Her eyes met mine; hers were shiny as if she was tearing up.

I could destroy her now, I realised. I could say yes and make her feel all the hurt she's given me.

"I...I..." I began, desperately trying to grasp the right words. Can she even hear me from over there?

In the end, I couldn't bring myself to do it. I couldn't play with Finley just to bite back at Jaydn.

"I'm sorry," I sighed. "I just...don't think I've ever seen us as more than friends. I don't want to harm our current friendship in any way."

"Yeah, okay. I understand. Well, I just hope I haven't caused any awkwardness between us," he laughed awkwardly and I smiled.

"Of course not," I replied, as we both grinned at one another.