“Next gap Gerald, papasok ka na...these are your talking points. “ He was handed a paper by the head writer and he didn’t have to glance at it to know what they wanted him to say.
Ø We’re working on our relationship.
Ø Hindi naman agad mawawala yung pagmamahal ko sa kanya.
Ø Yes, we try to go out on dates...baby steps.
Ø (and the list just goes on and on and on)
He suddenly felt the collar of his shirt tightening around his neck. The studio seemed smaller and he felt .... stifled. He decided to take a look at Sarah’s pictures on his phone to get him through the next few minutes and scrolled through them one by one. He stopped at a particular picture...and glanced at it far longer than the rest. He remembered that he took the picture in one of her unguarded moments. Offhand, it was just a beautiful portrait of the woman he loved but on closer inspection, he could see the uncertainty in her eyes...it conveyed the kind of feeling that he knew she kept inside. Kaya pa ba ni Sarah ang gagawin ko? Kayanin man niya, what if it ruins her? Will she ever trust me, or others, fully after this? Gerald thought of his mother. He spoke to her earlier in the day. All she told him was, “Kung anuman ang gawin mo anak, nakaalalay lang ako sa ‘yo. Pero sana, maging Masaya ka sa desisyon mo.”
And so, his thoughts had gone back and forth. Hilong hilo na siya sa kakaisip! Why does it have to be a choice? When he arrived in the studio, he saw Ate Juday and Kuya Ryan. They were also guests that day and he felt envious about their relationship. Kung walang makikialam, Sarah and I can be as free as them. He greeted them and asked Kuya Ryan on the side, “Kuya, was there ever a time po that you had to lie to protect your relationship?”
He answered, “Naku Gerald, mukhang may pinagdadaanan ka ha? Well, we didn’t deny but we didn’t confirm...hinayaan namin sila to draw their own conclusions...”
“So, pwede naman pala ano?” Gerald asked seemingly trying to justify the decision he was about to make.
Gerald was startled from his revelry. “O Ge!! Halika na, next segment ka na okay? Yung talking points mo, nabasa mo na?” He was rushed out of the dressing room and seated at the center stage. Looking around, he saw his supporters, his handler (who gave him a thumbs up sign), his good friend Jalal. He looked at the camera...he knew Sarah was watching at the hospital.
Tito Boy then stepped in and sat on the opposite chair. His team was fixing his makeup and outfit while he took a seat.
“Okay ka lang Gerald?”
He greeted him with a buzz on the cheek and nodded.
“Let’s get this on...” Tito Boy added looking him in the eye. He whispered, “Do what you have to...only if it makes you at peace at the end of the day. Imagine yourself tonight, and ask this, which decision will make you sleep tight?” He gave him a reassuring tap on the shoulder.
They started a video about Gerald, his life, loves and a bit about his upcoming soap.
Someone from the staff shouted...”In 5......4......3......2......1!!!”
“Live na live po tayo dito sa The Buzz!!! Gerald, welcome....salamat sa tiwala na patuloy mo na binibigay sa amin. I understand this is your first interview after the accident?”
“Yes, yes Tito Boy...thank you po sa support! Bago ang lahat, magandang hapon po sa lahat ng viewers...sa supporters ko na nandito ngayon...salamat po!”
They started with pleasantries, questions about the accident and his career, saving the most intriguing questions in the last part.
“Sa pagbabalik po natin, pag-uusapan naming ang mga tanong ninyo tungkol sa estado ng puso ng isang Gerald Anderson...dito lamang yan sa ...The Buzz!”
People would tell him later that they were nervous for him. He seemed to be in a daze during the whole interview. Tito Boy reassured him over and over again that he was doing fine. Ate Nhila approached him and offered him some water. But he didn’t remember everything. Time seemed slow and fast at the same time....
“In 5.....4.....3.....2......1!....”
“Gerald, nabanggit ko earlier before the gap yung tungkol sa estado ng iyong puso...kumusta na ba ang puso mo?”
“Masaya Tito Boy...I’m happy!”
“I’m glad you are. You deserve to be happy. Kumusta kayo ni Jessy?”
“Ah....okay naman po. We’re getting along. She’s a wonderful girl. We have a new soap..so magkasama kami almost everyday. Napakaganda po ng inihanda naming sa inyo sa abangan niyo po lahat. ” He smiled and thought maybe there was a way to get out of this without hurting anyone.
But then Tito Boy asked...“Is Jessy the source of your happiness?”
Gerald looked at Tito Boy and then at his supporters. He closed his eyes, and took a deep breath.
“Well, she made me happy ...”
“Made you happy?” Boy pursued...
“Yes, she did. “
“Okay, is there anyone making you happy right now?” Everyone was silent. The staff were on pause, nobody moved. In their own private thoughts, they were thinking, “Don’t do it...Or you’ll lose your career!”. Ang iba naman, naunahan na ng paghihinayang dahil sa kasiguruhan na tuluyan nang masasayang ang pinaghirapan niya sa industriya. They waited for his answer.
“Pa’no ko ba ‘to sasabihin? “ Gerald shifted in his seat and looked up.
“ I know this may be hard Gerald but we respect your need for privacy so don’t be pressured, only what you can share sa amin...sa mga tagahanga mo...”
Gerald braced himself. There was no turning back now. “Well let’s just say, she was part of my life before all of THIS. And I lost her. But then after the accident, we found each other....”
“Siya ba ang reason why you and Jessy broke up?”
“No tito Boy, thank you for asking... Hindi po sila nagsabay ni Jessy dahil nag-decide kami na maging magkaibigan na lang before I met her again.”
“I’m happy for you ...Does she have a name?”
“Wag na lang po, hindi naman siya from showbiz...I want to protect her and give her privacy.”
“Okay, I’ll respect that..Ito na lang Gerald...I know it was a big decision for you...a gamble..to be bringing out all this in public..”
“Opo Tito Boy, hindi madali. Pero Love isn’t supposed to be a sacrifice if you’re doing it for someone that makes you this happy right? I wake up each day and feel full, and alive...and it’s because of her. She helped me see who I am..”
“Are you worried that your supporters might not understand your personal life?”
“I will be lying if I say that I’m not but life is a risk and she is worth the gamble. I started in this business without anything. I had no money, no name. I was content naman kahit paano. I can leave the same person. What I cannot do is to lie to myself and lie to them.” Pointing at his supporters. “Minahal nila ako bilang ITO...they deserve the truth. While I won’t share everything about my personal life, I just want them...kayo po, mga nanonood, to know where I am right now. Ang dami nagsasabi, sayang daw kung isusugal ko itong stature ko sa showbiz....They always say I have everything “ he paused “...but without her I have nothing. Without her, I have nothing Tito boy.”
Author's note: di ko po alam if i still need to add to this or edit this. for now, I just posted what i had for this chapter. Will let you know kung may revisions. Wala lang...senti sentihan.... Ashrald forever!!!
