Obscurity

Chapter 6: Eyes On Me

Sierra

As Chris stands in front of me, his figure imposing even just across the table from me, I glare at Alma.

"Eyes on me, Sierra." Chris snaps his fingers in my face. I break my glare and look up at him and listen.

He isn't happy. "I've read the notes Cindy left on how you've been acting up lately and frankly, I hate to have to say this but if you keep it up, I'm going to have you transferred off my unit, Sierra." He threatens. "I know for a fact you didn't get on well in the Secondary unit before, and I have no problem sending you back over there. And if you think for one second that you'll have life half as cushy as you have it over here, you're playing yourself. Am I understood?" his voice low, severe.

Hearing the words 'Secondary unit' I clam up.

"Am I understood?" he asks again, obviously wanting verbal confirmation.

"Yes, you're understood." I say.

"Good. Now, leave Alma alone and stop messing with everyone on my unit. I've had enough of it. I'd suggest you keep your eyes elsewhere and stop antagonizing her. Got it?" he huffs.

"Yes." I tell him.

Chris stalks off. I watch him go back into the nurses station, and I sit there and weigh the possibility that he could be bluffing about sending me back to Secondary.

I'm not going back there. Secondary was terrible and I'll die before I go back. I'm thinking it's just going to be easier to keep a low profile when Chris is on duty. I can get more leniency from Cindy when she's the one in charge. I guess I'll watch my P's and Q's as they say.

Dinner has arrived, I pick at my nails waiting for my tray. I look over to the nurses station to see if Chris is watching me, he isn't. He's on a phone call and judging by the stern look on his face, he's busy. I take that opportunity to sneak a glance over at Alma.

She's switched tables and is sitting with Nick. Pathetic Nick. I roll my eyes and go back to fidgeting with my hands. My tray is brought, and I arrange everything on it and open my juice. I like orange juice, but they never give it to us for dinner. I settle for the grape juice and slouch back in my chair as I down the entire thing at once.

I hear a chair being pushed in and look over. Alma's walking out of the day room. Her food looks untouched. I wonder what Nick said to her to make her lose her appetite and I laugh inwardly. She shuffles away down the hall towards the bedrooms. She's too flighty. Maybe she needs a mood stabilizer, I think. No matter, I'm not letting my food go to waste. I stab my chicken breast with my fork and pick it up. It's so dry and overcooked I have to practically gnaw off small bites and I do. When I finish, I return my tray to the cart they bring all the food in on.

One of the nurses comes out to the day room and turns on the television. Another line-up of reruns, but it's something to do. I settle into a seat at the table where Michelle, Lara and Megan are sitting. They always chatter amongst themselves, but I can't relate so I sit there and watch as the commercials cycle through on the television.

I'll be honest, I don't pay much attention to the T.V. once the show comes back on. I've seen it a half dozen times. Instead, I watch everyone else in the day room. The usual groups are huddled together at the different tables. When I realize I chose to sit with the eating disorders, I silently chastise myself. Like I need anyone thinking I'm like them.

Michelle isn't an eating disorder, though. She's more or less a child trapped in a woman's body. Her mind isn't right. It's like she never got past ten or twelve years old. She's twenty, I think. You wouldn't know it to look at her save for the doll she carries around religiously. Yeah, I think the doll is a dead give away that something isn't quite right with her.

I eye the surrounding tables past Nick's. Old Jim is sitting with Abigail. They're both older than all of us, maybe in their sixties or seventies. I don't mess with them too often. They're pretty cranky, and I don't need that kind of drama in my life.

A little while later, the television show ends and I watch waiting to see what's coming on next. A few commercials after that I see it's just another tired rerun. I sigh as I dig my deck of cards out of my pocket and begin to straighten them. Lara shoots me a look that says 'you'd better not interrupt this show' and I get up and move to another table, off on my own.

I'm heeding Chris's warning about not having any behavior interventions. I don't need anyone getting pissed off and saying something to him to make him toss me over to Secondary.

I decide it's probably better for me to shuffle my cards off on my own rather than bothering anyone during T.V. time. I shuffle for a short time and get bored with it. Building card towers is my next objective. I carefully place and build the cards into neighboring towers of houses, joining them together level by level. Pretty soon I have a pretty impressive castle of cards before I blow them all down.

As I set about collecting all the cards and arranging them properly in my deck, I notice Chris coming out of the nurses office. He looks into the day room, and I quickly avert my eyes. He looks over all the tables and turns and walks down the hall way towards the bed rooms. He must be looking for Alma.

I pick all my cards up, straighten them and begin to work on my castle again. It isn't long before my nosiness overcomes me and I begin to think about turning in for the night and heading to my room to satisfy my curiosity.