Obscurity

Chapter 56: Pretty To Look At

Sierra

As I sit in the day room, staring off into space, I hear someone approach me from behind. I don't bother to turn and look to see who it is. I'm guessing by the distinctive shuffle of their feet, it's most likely Spencer. When he rounds my table and sits opposite of me, I realize my guess was correct. He grins as he sits down, then turns his attention to the nurses station. He spends an awful lot of time watching the goings on in the nurses station.

"You watch the staff a lot. Have you realized that?" I say, resting my deck of cards on the table. My wrists are starting to stiffen from shuffling so much. It's time for a break.

He sits there apparently ignoring my comment. His eyes still fixed on the observation desk. I fold my arms across my chest after shaking my wrists out.

"So, you're just going to come to my table and sit and not talk?" I ask.

"Your table?" he grins again.

"Yes, I was here first."

"Ah. Okay. Well, would you like me to move to another?"

"You can do whatever you want. I was just commenting on the fact that you just ignored my previous comment." I say narrowing my eyes at him. I have a million questions for him, but I need to soften him up a little before I dive right in.

"I'm sorry. I guess I wasn't paying attention, Sierra." He seems genuinely apologetic.

I shrug. "It isn't the first time someone's ignored me in here." I say as if I don't care.

"I just have a lot on my mind."

"We all do."

"So, what were you saying again?" He asks.

"I stated that you're focused a lot on the nurses station."

"Not much else to do here, is there?"

I shake my head. It makes sense. He does have a point.

"Did you see where Chris took Alma?" He asks.

"I wasn't aware Chris took Alma anywhere."

"Yeah, he caught her in my room..."

"Oh, really?" I glare at him.

"It's not like that."

"Well how is it then?" My foot nervously taps the floor. I can feel a tremendous anger welling up inside me.

"Sierra. Please. Don't do this." He says, a look of impatience plays on his face.

"She's been in your room twice now." I remark.

He raises an eyebrow at me but doesn't say anything in response to my observation.

"So, how is it, then?" I reiterate.

"Like I said, it's not what you're thinking." He denies any wrongdoing.

I scoff.

"Sierra, you're a nice a girl." He says.

"Not really."

"No, you are. I just don't have feelings for anyone here on this unit. I don't want you to think I do. I don't want you to misread my mannerisms and characteristics and trick yourself into thinking I do have feelings for anyone here." He explains in detail.

"Yeah, I'm just some crazy stalker nutjob here on this unit that has nothing better to do than chase you around. Is that how you see me?" I seethe.

"That's not at all how I see you." He says. His green eyes are brilliant in contrast to his black eye brows that are raised into a concerned V.

"I just don't want you getting the wrong idea about any of our interactions." He says.

"Well, maybe it's a little too late for that." I hiss as I stand to leave the day room. I shove my chair into the table hard and glare at him for a moment before turning to head to my room.

He doesn't say anything as I leave. As he shouldn't. I don't have anything else to say to him.

When I reach my room, tears are stinging my eyes. It sucks to have someone tell you they aren't into you. My thoughts immediately rush over to the idea that he must like Alma instead of me. He has to be lying about not being interested in anyone here. He and Alma spend too much time together for there to be nothing there between them. I immediately fight the urge to confront her. It doesn't matter what I say, or what she says, it won't change anything. So, essentially, it doesn't even matter.

I swallow down my anger and frustration and sit on the end of my bed. I reach back and grab my pillow from behind me and hold it to my face and cry as quietly as I can into it.

"Sierra? Are you okay?" Alma asks from her bed.

I don't answer. Any idiot could see that I'm not in fact okay.

"Sierra. Do you want to talk?" She says raising up into a sitting position on her bed.

I look at her over my tear stained pillow that I'm clutching to my chest but I don't say anything. I wipe a few stray tears onto the pillowcase.

"Are you upset over Spencer?" She guesses correctly on the first try.

I nod.

She lets out a long sigh. "Sierra. I don't even know where to begin when it comes to Spencer." She says.

"You don't have to begin anywhere. He doesn't matter." I say spitefully.

"Obviously he does or else you wouldn't be here upset and crying." She observes. "He's good looking, yes. But that's literally all he's got going for him, Sierra."

I look at her. Unsure of where she's going with all this.

She readjusts herself and crosses her legs on her bed.

"He's pretty to look at, but doesn't have any depth. He's not who you think he is." She says cryptically.

I watch her as she goes on.

"He seems charming at first. The problem is, once you get to know him, you realize he's an asshole and the very last person you'd want to be around. His personality is charismatic. Being a flirt, it's his nature. It's easy to be lead on by him." She picks on a loose strand of her blanket as she speaks.

"How do you know so much about him? He's been here all of what four days?" I ask.

She shrugs and tilts her head to the side.

"Do you know him from outside of here?" My eyes wide and curiosity overtaking me.

She doesn't respond.

"Alma!" I say louder than I should.

Someone clears their throat in our doorway. Chris shuffles into the room when he realizes we've noticed his presence. It irks me he didn't knock whenever he arrived. It seems he just stood there in the doorway listening to our conversation. I narrow my eyes at him as he makes his way toward us.

"Alma, you have meds you need to take." He says while looking at her. Then his glance shifts to me. "You need to not internalize every little thing someone says or does to you." He gives me unsolicited advice.

"And you should mind your own fucking business." I shoot back at him. The rage that was building up when Spencer was talking to me is finally reaching a boiling point with Chris and his know-it-all attitude.

Alma gets up and walks past Chris and out to the hallway. Chris stands in front of my bed staring at me for a moment.

"When you think of a good come back, I'll be here waiting. Until then, get the fuck out of my room." I spit at him.

An ugly mask of hatred envelopes his features as he turns and leaves the room. I can still smell his disgusting musky cologne long after he's left. Laying back on my bed I cover my face with my tear-spotted pillow and take a few deep breaths. I close my eyes and it isn't long before I'm out for the count.