Obscurity

Chapter 58: Empathy

Sierra

We take our usual spots at the usual table in the day room and wait for the dinner cart to arrive. Jim is noticeably absent. He must still be upset about Abigail being gone. I wonder if he knows she's in Medical.

Lara and her gang are sitting at their typical table. I can't hear what those girls are talking about but let's be honest; do I really care? I'm sure I'm not missing out on anything worthwhile.

Daniel is alone, sitting a few tables over flipping through a magazine. I watch him for a few moments until he looks up, presumably because he could feel my stare, and I quickly look away. The rest of the tables in the day room are empty, and it occurs to me, Spencer and Nick aren't here yet.

I look at Alma. She's looking out the window, seemingly lost in thought. I clear my throat to get her attention.

"What are the odds that Michelle was just released?" I ask her, even though I already know the answer. The odds are not in my theory's favor. I can't fathom her being released from the unit without a doctor signing-off on something like that. It's the weekend and there hasn't been a doctor on our floor in a couple of days.

"I have no idea." Alma mutters as she turns around in her seat, abandoning her window view, to face me.

"I don't know either. It just bewilders me how someone like Michelle could find herself in Secondary. She doesn't get into trouble. I can't see how Chris would find any excuse to send her there." I ramble on, thinking out loud.

"I know. She's so innocent and definitely not a troublemaker like some patients I know." I Alma adds with a smirk. I know she's referring to me with her statement and I smile back proudly.

"Yeah, the people here are just too unhinged." I add in my best Valley Girl accent while flipping my hair back over my shoulder. We both laugh.

The elevator dings and our attentions are drawn to the sounds of the dinner cart being pushed down the corridor toward the day room.

"Oh, I wonder what warm garbage they're planning on serving us today!" I say to Alma with too much enthusiasm.

She shrugs. Her smile has been replaced with a neutral but sad look on her face.

The food worker is different this time. Usually, it's a decent looking young guy that brings our food. Tonight, it seems he's been replaced by a middle aged woman with graying hair tucked up into a hair net.

She situates the cart in the day room and begins to pass out the trays. While I watch her, I see Spencer and Nick slink into the day room out of the corner of my eye. I don't look in their direction, but I watch their movements through my peripheral vision. They take their seats at the table next to me and Alma.

Once we have our food, Alma doesn't make a move to attempt at eating whatever nearly inedible concoction is under her entree lid. I open mine and see they've brought us turkey and stuffing with gravy and boring green beans. I would've been excited had it been their generic version of green bean casserole, but this will do. It's just sustenance, after all.

I begin eating, and Alma just stares at her tray. I push her tray a little closer to her in an effort to tell her to eat without verbalizing it. She sighs and looks away.

"If you don't eat, you can't sit here." I say with a grin playing at the corners of my mouth.

She looks up at me, worry dancing around in her eyes.

I laugh. "You'll have to move over there, with them." I say as I thumb back over my shoulder toward Lara's table.

"Ha, ha. Very funny." She says.

"I know, thank you. I'm here all week." I say as I stuff another forkful of bland green beans in my mouth.

Alma shakes her head as she lifts the cover to her entree. She makes a face, something akin to a grimace, but sets about stabbing at the stuffing with her fork. She takes a bite and shrugs. A couple of more bites and I'm confident she's going to eat.

"See, it's not so bad." I say smiling warmly at her.

"Yeah, I know. I have to eat..."

"Especially with whatever meds you're taking. You need to eat." I say in a parental tone.

I continue eating, sneaking glances in Spencer and Nick's direction. Nick seems sedate and quiet. Spencer is off in his own world, which seems usual for him. Sometimes I wonder what goes on in his head. But then again, I really don't care. It just makes me curious how someone could be so content with being here. He seems like it's just a walk in the park, no real worries or anything. It could be that he just has a quiet, non-expressive way about him. He doesn't seem to wear his feelings on his shirt. I turn my attention back to Alma.

"I'll bet Abigail makes it back to the unit tomorrow morning." I say. I feel like I need to cut into the silence at our table.

"Yeah. Maybe." Alma says.

"I'd love to pick her brain to see if she was around whenever Michelle was moved from the unit. Maybe she knows or saw something." I theorize.

"Maybe."

"Alma. Perk the fuck up." I say. She's way too melancholy.

"Sorry. I'm just really tired." She yawns.

"I get it. I wonder what medications your doctor prescribed." I think aloud.

She shrugs. "I don't know, but I'll bet I'm tired because of the anxiety pill. I feel a lot like I did the last time I took it." She adds.

I nod. I polish off my food and replace the entree lid and stand to go turn-in my tray with food lady. I don't feel like sitting here waiting for her to collect the tray. Plus, there's something I need to do.

As I pass Jim's table, I deliberately drop my empty milk carton. He looks down at it as I go to retrieve it. I glance up at him. His face wears a mask of sorrow, sadness. He must miss Abigail dearly. They're pretty close. Closer than any of us other patients. I feel for him. Whenever Alma isn't around, I experience a sense of loss as well. Though, mine and Alma's friendship doesn't span anything close to the length his and Abigail's does.

"She's in Medical in case you didn't know..." I say in a low voice as I retrieve my dropped trash and continue on to the food cart.

As I pass back by him, he gently reaches his hand out and takes mine. A silent gesture of thanks, I assume. I squeeze his hand, giving him a smile, and then make my way back over to my table.