Obscurity

Chapter 57: Checks

Alma

Chris gives me both of my pills and scans my bracelet. I throw them both into my mouth and slide them under my tongue as I drink the lukewarm water he gives me.

When I give the cups back to him and turn to go back to my room, Chris stops me.

"Checks." He says and waits expectantly.

I tuck the pills tighter under my tongue and ask, "What?"

"Let me check your mouth." He demands.

I open my mouth wide, careful to hold my tongue down in place while he looks inside. I pray he doesn't notice what I'm doing.

"Lift your tongue." He says, his eyes narrowed.

I immediately clamp my mouth shut.

"Why?" I stall.

"I know what you're doing." He says slyly.

I hurry and dry swallow the pills. Taking the medication is less humiliating than letting Chris know he's right about his suspicions. Once I have them down my throat, I open my mouth wide and lift my tongue.

"Wrong again." I say when he's finished inspecting my mouth.

He rolls his eyes and retreats back into the nurses station.

I head back for my room. The taste that the pills left in my mouth is terrible. Chalky and bitter. I can't wait to get to my bathroom sink and rinse my mouth out. I should also drink some more water to try and get the pills all the way down my throat. They seem to be lodged somewhere halfway down.

Just as I reach my door to my room, Spencer pokes his head out of his room and motions for me to come over there.

I shake my head. No way I'm getting caught in his room again. Chris warned me to watch what I do because he himself is watching what I do. No thank you.

I turn into my room and go straight into my bathroom. I stand before the sink and stare into the mirror. I feel like I look like I've lost several pounds in the week I've been here. No doubt from stress. I can't help but wonder how much longer before I'm granted release from this place. My poor Penny is probably starved to death. The thought of her being dead or near death chokes me up.

I twist the faucet on and drink from it. After I feel like I've swallowed the pills all the way down, I turn the tap off. I stare back into the mirror, and that's when I realize I'm crying. Tears slowly make trails down my cheeks and I hurry to wipe them away. I feel stupid for crying. I feel like that's all I've done since I've been here.

Standing at the mirror, I take an inventory of my reflection. Dark circles act as fluffy pillows under my bloodshot eyes. My cheeks seem thinner and my chin more defined. I've definitely lost a few pounds being here. I make a mental note to force myself to eat more during this stay. The last thing I need is to be forced to wear a pink bracelet next to this ugly yellow one. I glance down at the yellow wristband and wish I had the strength to rip it right off.

I decide I've seen enough of my thinning self in the mirror and go to my bed. I sit on the end of it, the blankets all bunched up from being cozy under them earlier. I didn't bother to make the bed. What's the point? I'd honestly love to just stay in the bed for the duration of this hell. I doubt the staff would allow it. I wish it wasn't a weekend. Maybe if it were a weekday, the day wouldn't drag on so long. It seems like today is the day that will never end.

While I sit and muse about the days of the week, Sierra sits up and stretches with a yawn. Her face is a little puffy but she's no worse for the wear. It's almost like you can't even tell she was crying earlier.

"What's up?" She asks when she notices me.

"Nothing much. Chris tongue-checked me."

"No way. What'd he say when he saw your pills?" She asks, an excited energy in her voice.

"He didn't see them."

"How in the hell did you manage to keep him from seeing them?" Her eyes wide, she can't believe I didn't get any trouble.

"I swallowed them."

"What? Why?"

"Because I had no choice."

"But you said you didn't want to take those meds."

"I know. But Chris told me earlier when he wrote me up that if I got in any more trouble, I would be sleeping in Solitary." I shrug. It's not somewhere I want to be.

"I see." She says thoughtfully. "You're smarter than you look." She adds with a laugh.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means you knew you had to take those pills to avoid proving Chris right. You didn't stick to your plan of not taking the pills. You played the game according to the hand you were dealt. You evolved and executed a contingency plan in order to walk away the winner. It was good, quick thinking." She explains. The light in her eyes and the smile playing at the corners of her mouth make me think she's proud of my accomplishment with regards to Chris.

"I just worry about what the medications actually are and what they'll do. I was incredibly tired the last time I took the anxiety pill." I think aloud.

"Yeah, the anxiety meds mellow you out pretty good. But as far as any depression medications or whatever are concerned, they take weeks to work or show any adverse side effects. If that's what your doctor prescribed, I doubt you'll even notice a small change in anything. Those things have to be in your system for a prolonged period of time before you notice any changes." Sierra offers.

I get up from my bed and walk over to the window. The sun isn't down all the way. The neighborhood is cloaked in the odd shadows of dusk.

"It'll be dinner time soon." I mention as I stare out the window.

"Yep. And do you know what that means?" Sierra says.

I turn to her, "What does it mean?"

"It means the day is almost over, and Cindy will be back in the morning." Sierras grin is contagious.

"Yeah. Maybe she can give us some answers." I absentmindedly say as I gaze out of the window.

Sierra gets up from her own bed and stands beside me at the window.

"Shall we?" She offers the crook of her arm. I look at her questioningly.

"Dinner, duh." She says smiling.

"We shall." I say comically as I thread my arm through hers and we make our way down to the day room.