Obscurity

Chapter 68: Decisions

Sierra

I wake up to the two nurses unstrapping my arms and feet. Once they release me from my restraints, they help me into a wheelchair and transfer me to a different room.

The room is a lot like my room back on my original unit.The beds, the window, the closet, it's all the same. After I climb into the bed, they retreat from the room with the wheelchair and I hear the lock click on the door after it closes.

My muscles ache and my head hurts. I rub my bicep muscles and try to remember how I got into this mess. That's almost the worst part of the electro-therapy, the brain fog afterward.

Out of frustration, I clench my teeth and realize my jaw is sore too. I must've clenched my teeth on that table so hard. I feel like I got punched in the mouth, it hurts so bad. I loosen my jaw a little to relieve the pressure and try to ignore the throbbing pain.

My mind trails off into an almost dreamlike state. I begin to wonder if I'll ever get out of this place. I wonder if every hospital is like this one. I wonder how much longer it will take before I get better enough to get out of here.

I just want out.

Sometimes I think I will never get out of this place alive. My brain then clicks over to a new thought. A thought I never had before. I think maybe that is my way out. Death.

I'm not a fan of either of the ideas, but they seem like plausible alternatives to living through this hell any longer. If things don't change soon, I resolve to end it all.

Another course of action crosses my mind. I wonder if I kill Chris and go to jail, will jail be better than this place?

Decisions. Decisions.

My mind then wanders to the different ways I could complete the two different tasks inside this place. It will take some thought, but I am sure I can manage it. I don't want to be here any longer. I don't want to be strapped to that table ever again.

I lay in bed staring at the ceiling and working my plans out in my mind. There's no rush because there's no telling how or when I will get off this unit and back to my own. I'll have to wait it out until I'm back over on the main unit.

A few stray tears trail down my cheeks into my ears but I don't wipe them away. I feel like they could quite possibly be my last tears and I want to experience them fully. I leave them where they land.

I've made my decision and there's going to be no going back. It is what it is.

I'm done. I'm done with everything.