Fragmented

Babies, Pasta and the Broken Swing

"The pieces will all fit together, but tell me what do I do of that empty space right in the middle."

Freya's POV:-

Tick Tock. Tick Tock. Tick Tock.

I removed my gaze from the damn clock for the tenth time. For someone sitting in my place this shouldn't have been an issue. Hell it shouldn't even be possible to hear this sound with all the people around and yet I was annoyed with it.

I was annoyed with the clock. I was annoyed with the constant tapping of my feet. The position I was sitting in. Even the chair I was seated on.

Maybe I should go home?

I couldn't decide and kept sitting there still annoyed with everything and watching the woman in front of me occassionlly look in my general direction with judgment etched in her eyes. Clearly she's never faced such a disquietude situation, at least her actions said it.

Stupidity will always result in people like me finding themselves in situations like this. 

I've been coming here for four days now. I sit here all day long and try to decide, sometimes I just stay outside so they don't think that I'm creepy. Which can be described partly the reason of her looks.

"Walk with me Freya." I jumped up in my seat at the voice and people around me now definitely thought I was here to visit the psychiatric ward. I saw him turn on his heel in a professional manner and walk away.

Crap!

Finally pushing myself up I followed until I was in his cabin.

"Sit." he demanded. I obliged because at this point there was no way out. He leaned himself on the table beside and in front of me.

"I.........." I started but words weren't forming. What do I even say.

"Freya if you don't want this baby then you can put it up for adoption." He spoke and I felt the urge to punch him in the face.

"Don't call the baby it. He or she is a living person." I whispered very low but knew he heard it.

"Do you feel like you want to hit me?" He asked surprising me. I looked up at him in confusion.

"The thought of having this baby in your life scares you but the thought of not having him or her is more terrifying than anything else."

I don't know what had clicked in my mind but he made sense. I am living what he says.

"Forgive me if I crossed the line of professionalism but my mother used to say we are always scared of changes but changes are what make us realize that only changes can show us something more better than what we live."

"What if I am bad at it? Being a mother? What if I'm not enough?" I asked him knowing fully well he couldn't have an answer for it. Nobody can answer that I don't have anybody else to ask about this.

"What if you are all that is needed? What if you're enough?" He shocked me even more when he made sense to me again.

"Julian. I miss home terribly. It hurts so bad I can't breath and this baby is the only thing that connects me to the love of my life. I'm scared of leaving this connection and I'm terrified of not having anything left." He stared at me for about two minutes before answering and I panicked about the fact that I didn't even know him well enough to say that but it just spilled out regardless and now he thought I was a complete wack job.

"Tell me, whats better regretting about not taking a chance or a mistake with a lesson by taking a chance." he asked.

"Just as I thought. You want this baby and once you accept that, the part that scares you will also fade with time. You always have your options after you have the baby."