Your body, your life (Eddsworld fanfic)

None - Explaining is hard sometimes...

Tord had no idea how he could reply to that. What would Tom do in such a situation? Be sarcastic? Make fun of her? "Pffft, no! Why the hell would you think that?"

Tamara rolled her eyes. "There is no need to lie, stupid. You are definitely not Tom and I know it. You don't act the way he is supposed to." She sighed. "I can't believe you are that bad at acting... it's just pathetic. And you're supposed to be charismatic. Unbelievable."

"And... you are the real Tamara then...?" The Norwegian asked. He was really starting to question who she actually was. It didn't make much sense for this version of Tom to act like that. She would have tattled on him already rather than get him away from everyone else, wouldn't she?

Tamara stared at him before bursting out into laughter, covering her mouth.

"H-hey, what's so funny?! Stop laughing!"

"You are, whatever your name is! Do you actually believe I wouldn't have unmasked you in front of them if I really was Tamara? I am Tori and I swapped bodies with her, just like you apparently did with Tom." The girl glanced to the door, her eyes widening. "Oh shit, I hope they didn't hear me... That would be a mess."

"But... how are you so good at acting? I already have trouble with staying in character... And for how long have you been in his... um... her body?"

Tori smirked. "One of us had to have some potential in acting or else we would haven been caught immediately, silly. I have been in Tam's body for about two weeks now and I had enough time to make sure I act exactly like her." She stared at him, narrowing her eyes. "But you are not doing very well here... for either of us. If you don't act like Tom they will notice soon. Normally I wouldn't care as much, it's your own business, not mine, but there is a slight chance they'll chant to see if I am not Tamara as well. Then we'd both be fucked over because of you. And we wouldn't want that to happen, would we?" She leaned forward, her expression too scary to argue with.

"N-no?" Tord replied.

Tori stepped closer, grinning at him. "Good boy. Okay, so what is your real name?" She raked her fingers through her hair, wittingly or unwittingly, Tord didn't know.

The man sighed, feeling very uncomfortable with this situation. Even though she was him, he didn't want to reveal his personal information. "My name is... Tord. But people in my universe know me as-"

"Red Leader? I know that, I am your female counterpart after all. Expecting me not to know that is like questioning me if I don't like hentai. But anyway, you left the army, just like I did some time ago. Not that hard to follow."

"Yeah, that's... correct," he responded.

She chuckled. "What did you expect, Tord?" Tori shook her head and murmured, "Why is my male version such an idiot? Seriously..." She was really trying to keep herself in character at all times, huh?

Before Tord could react to that very unnecessary comment, Ell yelled from the living room, "Hey Tam and... Tom, do you guys want some pizza as well?"

"Uh... sure, whatever! As long as it isn't pineapple pizza!" Tori shouted.

"Why would you not want-?"

"Dear Tord, did you ever pay attention to anything about him? Think about what you know about Tom's life for a second and I'm sure you will get your answer."

"Geez, no need to be rude..." Tord muttered.

"First, I have to behave like Tamara, and second, you are annoying as fuck." She turned around and walked to the door of her room. "Do you know how hard it is not to fall back into my habits of smoking, reading manga, watching anime and collecting guns? Try not following your habits for a week and see where it gets you."

"I... didn't think of that just yet," Tord responded quietly, "but you need to remember we're basically the same person just... with different genders. We're not that different."

"We should probably go down now, before Ell or this Edd guy come here. Curiosity kills the cat, you know. I don't want to hurt them," she sighed.

Tord nodded and slowly followed his counterpart back into the living room.

Tom had absolutely no idea how to react to whatever the fuck was even happening here. There was the ghost of his dead neighbour floating in front of him and glaring at him, thinking he was the one who had killed him. Yes, this body was responsible, but the real Tord was somewhere else. This was probably one of the weirdest and worst days of his life. Not as bad as the day his father got shot, but still pretty bad...

"Uh... I didn't..." He knew he had fucked up. How could he possibly explain to an angry ghost that he had swapped bodies with his killer? It sounded so... stupid. Like such a bad excuse. Not even the biggest idiot would believe that. So Edd and Matt as well, probably...

"What?" the ghost scoffed. "You didn't what? Think about what you were doing? Seeing me? Caring about me being there?"

"No, I didn't kill you, that was what I meant. I-I know this sounds stupid, but it is the truth, I swear!"

Jon raised an eyebrow. Tom could see his surroundings through the ghost. Maybe he could run through him and escape, but he doubted that Jon would leave him alone after that. And Jon had never been an actual threat, so why run from him? He just needed to explain, right? "Are you serious? Of course you killed me! I remember exactly how you look like! Well, you do look a little... er... how do I say this without being mean? You have a whole lot of scars..."

Tom shook his head. "I know this is not easy to believe, but I am not Tord!"

"Who's Tord?" the ghost questioned.

"The guy who killed you."

"Oh. So that's... you."

"Ye-no! I am not Tord, I am Tom!" Tom yelled. "We swapped bodies!"

"Okay then... prove it. Tell me something only the two of us would know about." Jon crossed his arms.

"You never believed in ghosts and now you are one."

"Anyone could have told you," Jon replied in a flat tone. "And that I am a ghost is very obvious." 

"Ugh, okay... Uh, you believe in mermaids."

"Tom wouldn't even know that!" the ghost shouted.

"Are you sure? Because I definitely do."

Jon thought about that, but shook his head. "Eduardo told that Edd for some reason and Edd usually tells everyone. He could have told you as well, Tord. Wait, your name was Tord, right? I'm sorry, but it takes a while to remember names."

"I got drunk on your funeral- "

"You really are Tom!"

"-while Matt admired his reflection in the silver cutlery and Edd tried making puns about your death and got mad because they didn't give him regular cola. Eduardo fought with him about this 'who of us is better' thing and Mark randomly started reading a book. Best funeral I've ever been to. Ten out of ten."

"Did- did all that really happen at my funeral?" Jon asked nervously.

"Unfortunately, yes."