Swear || a.i [editing in progress]

Sixteen

After what happened last night, I decided that it was time to take a break. A real break. I needed to move out, away from all of it. Was I running from my problems? Maybe. Did I care? Not one bit. The stress that the two boys were causing was going to be harmful for the baby and before I was Cal's or Ash's girl, I am a mother. 

I folded the pieces of clothing slowly and set them neatly in the luggage. I scanned the room to realise that I still had another box of stuff to pack.

I sighed tiredly and got up to get the box but was interrupted by the soft knocking of the door.

Calum poked his head into the room. He looked at me and shot me a smile. I gestured for him to come in before he took a step into the room. 

He looked exhausted and uncomfortable as he made his way over to me.

"So you're leaving." Calum looks down on the floor sadly, his hands tucked in his pockets. I pulled him into a hug to comfort him, and at the same time, comfort myself.

"It's for the best. For all of us." I whispered softly. I meant it. I needed this little break to focus on my child. It wouldn't hurt for Ashton and Calum to reconcile while I was gone anyway.

Calum started as he pulled away from the hug. "I'll miss you."

The side of Calum's lips tugged into a smirk. I messed his hair up a little, like a puppy.

"I'm only gone for a few weeks, not forever." Calum swatted my hand away from me and held it tight. His once playful demeanour morphed into a serious expression.

"Bay, I need you to tell me the truth." I was a little taken aback by his sudden time of seriousness in his voice.

I gulped the lump in my throat to speak.

"What do you want to know?" I stuttered.He took a step closer to me and I wanted to take a step back. But my feet stayed where they were and I looked back up at him.

"I want to know what you feel about Ashton." Calum said slowly, pronouncing every syllable clearly. My eyes widened in surprise. This felt exactly like a few months ago when I first met them.

"I-" I hesitated, unsure.

"Bay, I want you to know that I will not be angry or mad or anything. I just want to know. Before you leave." Calum pleaded.

There was really no use lying to him. Was there?

"I'm torn. I like him and I'm glad that Ashton's trying but I know that we need more security than that. But you..." A bolt of sadness flashed across his huge eyes.

"Please elaborate." Calum added, sounding hurt yet confused.

"You are an amazing guy. You make me extremely happy. You know the right things to say and you make me feel so loved. But Ashton, he gives me a weird sensation. I can't help but like him. He really has this thing that pulls me in." I explained. Calum nodded, still not looking up.

"I don't want to force you into doing anything, Bay." he looked up. "I want you to be happy."

I furrowed my brows.

"We can't be anything more than just friends. Until you've made your decision. Then maybe we won't even be anymore than that." I could hear the disappointment and sadness in his voice. More than friends.

I knew exactly what he meant.

"Thank you, Calum." I said as I hugged him again. "I really appreciate it." I did. I knew what it was like to sacrifice love for someone you care for.

I knew it painfully well.

"You're making it really hard for me to let go." Calum laughed nervously. He leant down and planted a kiss on my forehead.