call me again → cmbyn ✔

9-something new

elio ✰° ✧ ⁎ ·˙․

had i really just done that, did i really just make the first move. pft i knew he wasn't going to follow me but at least now i knew how he felt.

it wasn't relief that was flooding through me like i expected, it was more grief. i knew he couldn't do anything about how he felt and now i feel guilty because i just opened a pandora's box of emotions he most likely wanted to keep shut.

but why did he come back.

he's a professor now, he has a fiancé so i know it isn't for my father's work again. but am i being too selfish to say it was for me?

as i lay on my bed in the small room, my hand slid into my trousers and i lay there imagining him again like i had in summer.

there was a gently tap on the door, so i quickly removed my hand from my pants and cleared my throat.

"yes" i managed to get out.

he opened the door slowly, shutting it behind him as he shuffled into my small room. my cheeks were flushed red but for reasons i knew not, as this man had been to hell and back with me practically in his arms.

"you" he said, he stood there with an expression i couldn't read it said both: i have no idea what i'm saying and, i've been thinking about what i just said for months.

"what?" i spoke back.

"you, you're why i came back" i couldn't help but smile a little, i didn't want it to seem like i was teasing him i just didn't know how to hide my satisfaction. it's not like i didn't know, i just hadn't heard it from him.

"oliver, what about your fiancé" i pointed out, it was a true point that was going to have to be brought up at some point.

"i don't know" he walked closer and sat at the end of my bed, the way he had done whilst i was sick during summer.

he pulled my legs into his lap and began running his hands up and down, i tried my best to mask my excitement but ended up tensing my legs. he gave me a questioning look.

it's fine you can do that

i wanted to say, but instead: "we can't be together if you're engaged"

"i know" he sighed

"well then what?" i muttered, my eyes rolling.

"don't roll your eyes" a sudden venom had filled his voice

"don't give me false hope, if you're engaged we can't sleep together. simple" i spoke

"i sometimes forget you're still a child" he spat, his grip on my legs tightening. i hated to admit it, but i loved when he got angry.

"i sometimes forget you're just old" i smirked and sat up, his arm slipped round my waist and pulled me into his lap. he began his work on my neck, and eventually found his way to my mouth.

i don't know how long we stayed there, just together. there was no denying that we loved each other, but the kind of love that it was, that couldn't be explained

we were currently lying in oliver's (my) room, having moved after our make-out session. i was lying on his right as he read threw a book i'd lent him. every now and again we'd steal a quick kiss which he would stop before i got too excited.

"i love you"

"i'm sorry?"

"i love you"

i only questioned the words because they'd never been spoken before, not during our affair over summer, not over the phone, they were never spoken. well not from him anyway.

"i love you too" i looked up at him, he had the expression one might have when seeing someone murdered.

"i don't know why i said that" he scolded himself, blinking a few times.

"it's okay" i muttered, leaning up and taking his lips with mine.

we lay for a few extra hours until my father arrived home and i crept back to my room to make it seem as if nothing had happened.

—

at dinner we were joined by one of my father's old friends from england, i was told they were bringing their son, which is fine.

when we got downstairs the guests were already seated and i was opposite who i assumed must be the son. he looked about my age, maybe a little older. he had dark hair and tanned skin. there was some sort of recognition on his face as he looked at me.

"i bumped into you" he said quiet enough that only i would hear.

i then remembered, the man i'd knocked whilst coming back from a walk after i was told oliver was coming. i was so upset but i briefly remember offering to show him around and then darting away.

"ah yes" i blushed a little, i felt someone nudge me knee and looked to my left at oliver who was watching the two of us intently.

"well, i'm Elijah" he introduced himself by reaching his hand over all the food, rising from his seat. i mimicked him and muttered 'elio'. he smiled at me and i returned it.

"maybe you could still give me that tour?" he offered, a cheeky smile on his face. he had noticeable dimples.

"yeah, sure" i smiled and felt a flush on my neck and face. if oliver can have his fiancé, would it be such a sin?

—

this is literally a filled chapter

i'm so sorry, i wrote this at 12:23am england time so it's gonna be bad but yeah i'm TRYING ❤️