call me again → cmbyn ✔

16-backwards

← ✰elio✰ →

i wanted to be here when he arrived, i wanted to know if he hated me still. not hate, but dislike i guess.

i applied for a few schools in new york and a couple in paris, i got accepted in france but was unlucky in america. maybe a sign.

i'll be leaving in exactly a month today, but after my conversation with oliver i'm not sure if i even want to go.

this morning when i woke up, it was different from a normal day. it was peaceful, for the first time in a while, my mind and body felt rested.

i decided that today i would be productive, do a little more transcription and go visits elijah who i haven't seen for a few days. it crossed my mind that he doesn't know about france yet, he knows i applied but not that i got accepted, maybe today i'll let him know.

i groan as i turn over in bed, i hear my mother call my name a few times for breakfast, so i unwillingly drag myself out of bed and pull a shirt over my head. sluggishly walking down the stairs.

i take my usual seat parallel to my father, oliver beside me.

i'm surprised to see elijah besides him, i shoot him a smile as i sit and dig into my breakfast.

"how was your sleep?" my mother asks me, i break open my egg and pour some apricot juice into my glass.

"okay, very hot" i reply, she holds an amused smile.

"it's exactly a month today" i say, directing it to my father.

"what's a month?" he asks, half interested in me, half interested in what he's reading

"france, school?" i reply, a little irritated at his lack of care.

he looks up at me and places his papers down. "oh you got accepted i forgot" to my right elijah makes a funny noise and turn to see he's gone a little red.

"so you're going to france for how long?" oliver asks, he's looking a bit different to his usual self today. maybe it's his haircut, or the fact i never see him as he never leaves his room when i'm home.

elijah sighs as i turn away from him, i continue my conversation with my dad on the topic of school, we speak about the different things ill be studying and the flight prices and what not.

i want to start packing today, or make a list just in case. it's not normally like me to plan ahead but if i'm moving to a completely different country where the only person i'll know is a past lover, i want to be prepared.

after we've finished eating, elijah pulls me to one side and asks if i'll walk to the beach with him, i accept with a smile and we interlock hands as we make our way down the rocks.

it's still crazy to me that this time last year the only man i would've done this with is oliver. now i'd hold hands with any man who'd allow me.

we walk along the wall up top, where me and oliver jog. we make smalltalk as neither of us will bring up the elephant in the room. i decide to start.

"i'm sorry i didn't tell you straight away" i say, taking a quick glance at him

"elio it's not the fact you didn't tell me-" he starts but i interrupt him.