call me again → cmbyn ✔

17 1/2-is it okay?

← ✰mr perlman✰ →

i feel wrong for not wanting him to go, it's a selfish need but i don't want him to repeat the same mistakes as me. i see a lot of my son in myself, or myself in my son. dear god, don't put me through this for the second time in my life.

i'm not going to be able to watch him with my eagle eyes, and make the difficult decisions for him.

of course we know elio isn't only interested in girls like most boys his age, but neither was i, only my wife knows only my wife will ever know.

i struggled with my first marriage, the woman i was with didnt love me the way my past lover had, my past male lover. it was new having a male in my bed, at the time it was considered wrong and i guess it still is.

it came quickly to an end, and i was with anyone who would accept me, men, women and everything inbetween until i found annella. we prayed together for many years before we decided it would be comfortable for us together.

is it wrong for me to question whether god is truly on my side? of course it's wrong, i don't know what i'm saying.