call me again → cmbyn ✔

15-always here

← ✰oliver✰ →

i returned to the house after a few hours of talking with the ocean, i fell asleep as soon as i was in the safety of my bed. my dreams consisted of my future life, there were children and big blue house with a white fence. that's not the future i want, not without-

i was awoken the next morning by the sound of knocking on my door, my head lifted and i groaned, turning my face into my pillow to protect myself from the suns harsh glare, falling through the open window.

i heard the door click open and then click shut, and the soft pad of footsteps. elio. he's the only one who can walk so lightly.

"can we talk?" he says plainly, i turn to face him, squinting in the brightness. his face was relaxed, he had one of his white t-shirt's on and his little red shorts. i however had no shirt on but was wearing a pair of swimming trunks, i could feel the sweat on my back and forehead as i sat up from the laying down position. i hated the feeling of being sticky and desperately wanted to run down the stairs and dive into the pool, but instead.

"sure" i say politely and pat the end of the bed, because i allowed elio to stay in his room  i'm stuck in the smaller room with the smaller bed that makes having important conversations harder.

there was a moment of silence between us as he weighed me offer "my dad told me" he sighed as he gave in and took a seat.

"told you what" i hesitated a little too long. we both knew what he was talking about but what else would i say?

"about you and your fiancé" i started at him blankly, it wasn't that i didn't want him to know i just hadn't rehearsed what i would say once he inevitably did find out.

"why didn't you tell me?" he sounded kinda hurt as he spoke again, i didn't know what to say which left another silence to hang in the air between us.

"i didn't think you would want to know" i admit, feeling small again. i wasn't yet used to the power he now possessed over me, he had me wrapped around his finger and i was almost certain he knew.

"why would you think that?" he asked, i raised my eye-line to look at his face, he was confused.

"i thought you hated me" i respond with a small chuckle, we sounded like school children. me being the one who wasn't invited to the party, and was therefore sulking in the corner.

"i don't hate you" he smiles, dropping his head to avoid my gaze. "i just can't keep up with your games, you told me you loved me and then didn't say a word when you left" he explained, i knew he felt betrayed, i would too.

i wanted to drop it all there and then, i wanted to tell him how much i want to scoop him up into my arms and kiss him like i've never kissed him before. but then i risk my relationship with his father, which could mean i never get to see elio, my elio ever again. sure annella would fight my case, but i don't want to put elio through the strain of choosing me or his family.

"you're happy with elijah, i want you to stay happy." i lie instead, there's nothing more i want than for elio to be rid of him and come back to me.

"i understand" he mutters under his breath, i don't even look up to watch him leave like i normally would. i'm glad he knows, now there's nothing stopping him from coming back to me if that's what he chooses.

"are you alright oliver?" he says before he leaves, he doesn't turn to look at me, i'm speaking to his back.

no. no i'm not okay because i'm so god darn entangled in my love for you that the very thought of either of us leaving for the end of summer makes me want to the throw myself into the sea and never resurface.

"fine, i'm fine elio" he nods and steps out of the small space, leaving me alone with my mind running wild.

what if he did decide to choose me, what would i tell his father. would i change my mind? how would we spend our lives together? too many questions, i've got a headache.

it's his choice, and i don't even know which choice i want him to make anymore.

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[ sorry this is kinda short i haven't had much time to write with exams and all so i thought i'd pump out another quick update ]