Trust In Forever (Book 12 in the Forever Series)

Chapter 21

Demi

The night I found out about Nick & Eden was one of worst moments, in my life. The next morning, I had taken a shower after getting some sleep & was starting to feel normal again, when I walked into my bedroom & saw Nick standing there, symbolically, holding our broken wedding photo. I really didn't expect to see Nick so soon, hoping that he would respect my wishes to not come home, so I was emotional all over again.

I wanted him to leave. I told him to leave, but he didn't leave soon enough. He started talking, explaining what happened, telling me he was sorry & the anguish from the night before washed over me again. The tears came & so did the words, the ones I wanted to say when I first found out, but didn't, because I was in shock. Anger & sadness consumed my body, controlled my mouth & I let Nick have it. I told him the truth. I told him that I wasn't sure about our future. I know he didn't want to hear it, but I needed him to hear it, because that was a very real statement. I needed time, more time than he had given me. I needed to think, think about my options.

I was crying pretty hard as Nick was leaving, a part of me wanting him to come over & put his arms around me to comfort me, like he always did. My sad body craved his embrace, but he didn't come to me, because he knew he was the reason for my tears. He knew that after a moment of his arms being around me, I would realize it was him that caused me such pain & I would have pushed him away. He probably couldn't take any more rejection.

I sobbed for a good fifteen minutes, after Nick left, then I felt my inner strength, come alive & the crying subsided. I ran my fingers along my eyelids, then wiped the wetness from my cheeks before I stood up & took a deep breath. I took a few steps forward & looked at my reflection, in the full length mirror. "You got this, Demi." I muttered, nodding as if I was trying to convince myself of something. I sniffed & cleared my throat. "You will be okay. With or without a man." I held my head up, confidently.

As I stared at myself, in the mirror, I felt empowered. I had so many things to be happy about. I needed to focus on moving on, from this, instead of dwelling on what Nick did. I needed to take some time to myself. I needed to not think about what he did, so I could figure out what I wanted to do. 

I finished getting ready, then I grabbed my phone & called my old friend, Matthew. He still lived in California, now with his husband & their two children, but I hadn't seen him in almost a year. He was excited to hear from me & invited me to his house, to hang out, so that was something I could do to distract me.

As I was grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge, I heard the doorbell. Blanda was at the door when I opened it, making me laugh. "Why are you ringing the bell?"

Blanda was stunned, for a moment, then answered me, "I didn't want to barge in. You look good." She commented as she stepped inside. "Are you okay?"

"Yea. I'm great. I'm going to hang out with Matthew for the day."

"Really? That's awesome." She looked me up & down, then seemed to be studying my face. "I expected you to be crumpled up somewhere. Nick told me he left you crying.... Hard."