Trust In Forever (Book 12 in the Forever Series)

Chapter 26

Demi

Walking out of my house, leaving Nick to pack his things & sign divorce papers was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I cried all the way to my car, then continued to cry as I drove to my session. I was in a state of denial, I think, until I got to Dr. West's office & sat down, then I let the floodgates open. I bawled while I told her what happened & since she has been listening to me for decades, she could probably understand me. I knew she did, once she started asking questions, probing me to open up even further.

An hour later, as I was walking out of her office, I felt better, mentally, like I was doing the right thing, but emotionally, I was an even bigger mess. I got to my car, tears still in my eyes, from my broken heart, then I started sobbing as I drove to my parents. I had to stop a block from their house, to compose myself & reapply my makeup so they wouldn't know how bad things were. I was going to tell them about the impending divorce, but I didn't want to tell them what Nick had done. I really did want to protect him, so I could protect our kids & the fewer people that knew what was going on, the better. 

I sat my parents down that evening & told them Nick & I were doing a no fault divorce & of course they thought I was joking, at first. Once I explained to them, that there was a breach of trust & that Nick & I had grown apart, they knew I was serious. My mother, of course, asked if one of us had an affair. I couldn't lie to my mom, though. "It doesn't matter what happened, Mom. Just please respect me & don't push this. I don't want to rehash it all. It's private & it's between me & Nick."

Mom shut her mouth & I went to bed, shortly after. I didn't fall asleep, for quite some time, because I couldn't stop thinking about what I was doing. I thought I was making a mistake, then I thought I was doing the right thing, the only thing I could do at this time. My thoughts were all over the place & then eventually I cried myself to sleep.

Thankfully, I woke up the next morning & my parents were gone, already. They were going shopping, something they did almost every Sunday, when they didn't have grandkids. I got my things together, after I showered & got dressed, then I made myself something to eat. I left the house to head home, just after one.

I sat in the driveway at my house, staring at the front door, for at least fifteen minutes before I went in. I was having an argument, in my head, wanting to be absolutely sure that I was doing the right thing. Once I realized I was, I made my way inside the house, which was painfully quiet. I looked around, called out Nick's name, but saw or heard no sign of him. 

My heart started pounding in my chest, thinking he could have done something drastic, then I saw the papers on the kitchen counter. I looked at them & saw he hadn't signed them. I was about to go upstairs to see if I could find Nick, when I felt the vibrations on the floor, so I knew he was in the studio. I snatched the unsigned papers from the counter, then headed down to the studio. 

Just as I got to the studio door, I heard Nick's voice as he started to sing & the words I heard made me stop dead in my tracks. "Open your eyes...See through the pain...Remember how we used to be...Before you let it go...Let it go.." I kept listening, to the words that were breaking my heart all over again. "'Cause all of our wrongs can't be made right...Without you I'm half the man I used to be... You always were the better part of me...If I could, take it back I would...'Cause with you right there by my side...You got to admit it was a beautiful ride...Two young hearts beat till they're broken...And now, so much still unspoken....It's obvious I'm still breaking... Tell me it's not too late... Before I break....I give you my word...This time I will change...We were always so good together...Won't you let it go....Won't you let it go..."

I fought the urge to cry for a moment, but then the tears filled my eyes, as I leaned my head on the wall, near the studio entrance. I was breaking his heart & breaking mine, but I had to, even though I didn't want to. I never wanted us to end this way. I never wanted us to end at all. I knew, though, if I didn't end us now, the ending could be so much worse. I glanced down at the papers in my hand, took in a deep breath, then let it out. I walked into the studio, with a purpose, startling Nick as he was perched on a stool with his guitar & a microphone inches from his face.