unknown number (Ace x-reader)

the longing

I suddenly got really inspired. Honestly, I think I'll still update this book frequently. This book is really easy for me to write for. But who knows... I might loose all this inspiration. :/
(Listen to the whole mix. It's called "I will wait for until the very end" by the bootleg boy. I always listen to lo-fi when updating this book. You should check it out.)
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  A few days have passed since the first day Ace came back, and as happy as he feels, it just doesn't feel right. On his lunch break, he stares out the window, blankly, like he has too much on his mind. It feels like he's missing something.
  Every time he tried to think about what it could possibly be, (Y/n) comes to his mind. He leans forward, the (h/c)-haired woman appearing once more. There's a feeling deep in his chest, it weighs heavy on him.
  He brushes it off slightly as concern, but he knows that it's not the emotion he feels. What he feels runs deeper. It shakes him to the core. There's nothing worse than having everything you've always wanted, and still not feeling like it's enough. Maybe it's because he should be happy, but he's not.
  Something hangs over him, it feels like he just went through a bad breakup. But it's not even that, they weren't dating. All he ever had on her was a crush, at most. It's not like he knew her long enough to say he was in love with her.
  Maybe he was in love with the idea of her, and now he's finally getting caught up in his own guilt. Upset that he had once told her he was in love with her, confessed to her, but then acting like nothing happened. Not only that, but then causing a scene like that.
  But who would blame, who could? Her boyfriend, someone who's meant to love every flaw of her so much that it becomes one of his. The man who's supposed to love her more then himself, who's supposed to accept everything bad about her and love it. Yet it was him, her boyfriend, who had told her that she was worthless. That she doesn't deserve to live. All because of some misunderstanding.
  The feeling swamps him again, a blow to the chest, taking all of his breath away. He swallows hard, why does he always get so emotional? Why can't he think of anything but her? He needs to let her go, for her sake. For his too. She's suffering because of him, she's with someone like that man... because Ace had to stick his nose in business where it didn't belong. Because he became attached to someone that could never be his. Again.
  He always did have the best luck out of anyone, didn't he? First being born to a father that people curse and spit at, even after his death, then practically killing his mother after she gave birth to him, then falling in love with someone who's family hates his guts. And now, hurting someone he was supposed to love, someone he had trusted, someone who had trusted him. And then refusing to move on from her because it's too hard.
    Refusing to accept that he actually knows what the feeling that churns his stomach and makes him nauseous. It's something he's experienced one too many times. It's like the feeling never leaves him. His life is just filled to brim with misfortune and suffering. This emotion coming from wanting something, someone to be with him.
  The feeling of longing for someone. Someone intangible.
  "Ace! Look! Look out the window!" a voice makes him snap his neck in the direction of the clear glass. "It's the first snowfall of the year!"
  Its true. The white snowflakes flutter down from the darkening sky; purity amid the vast world, soon to be melted away into nothing. Because nothing stays the way it was made. Even if it's broken.

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