Hey Ma | Jabezvill

Lump in my chest

Y/N POV

*Wednesday night*
After my dad left my room I couldn't help but feel all the pressure of having to live up to everybody's expectation. I sit up off on my bed getting a glimpse of my self  in my mirror "jeez" I said moving my hair out of my face. I reached over to drink the water my dad left on my night stand and got out of my bed I felt a bit dizzy but I was mainly over whelmed about my birthday, my mom and dad, my friends back home and weirdly not Jabez. As I got off my bed I walked over to my laptop at my desk and see that London had posted something and tagged me in it. "Great thats just what I needed"

Instagram

@londonblur: Don't you hate it when slutty new girls decide to come to your school and think they can still your man what sad excuse for a girl @y/n

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Y/N POV
I sat the in silence for about 10 mins re-reading what she said. I couldn't really figure out how to fill about such vile words that could come from somebody that one doesn't know me and two supposedly supports girls. I started laughing at the last one not realizing that at this point I was full on crying tears running down my face. I felt an anxiety attacks coming and I start panicking and passing around my room as a coping mechanism as I'm passing back and forth I could feel the lump in my chest rise to my throat and I tried to hold it in, but before I could just let it all out my door opens and I see Jabez standing in my door way. "Are you okay" Jabez says stepping in and closing the door behind him. "I hate you, I hate you, I hate you" I said getting louder and louder stepping closer and closer every time I said it to the point I was beating his chest. He just hugged me as I sobbed in his arms. "Hey hey it's okay ma it's going to be okay" we just stood there for a while till I was able to control myself. "Are you okay" he said sounding really concerned "yeah I'm just so tired of having to be there for everyone and being the bigger person and no body being there for me you know, I miss all of my friends and I miss my dad his like always gone and I really miss my mom and I hated the fact that I had to move here because it's really hard for me to make friends" I said wiping tears from my eyes. He just looked me dead in the eyes I wonder what he's thinking about "sorry enough about me why are you here" i said trying to break the silence " oh I just feel so bad about everything I never meant to hurt you  y/n and I really miss you at school and you ignoring me or making fun of me for no reason I'm just so sorry" he said looking down when he was finished "thanks but I should be the one to apologize I just had so much going on in my mind and I finally sorta felt normal for once and I liked it but it was a matter of time that people at the school where going to find out and I just blew it out of proportion and I also just want to apologize for that" i said grabbing his hand that was laying on my bed "so are we good" he said looking into my eyes "we good" I said putting my finger up "pinky promise to always be truthful to each other" i said "pinky promise" Jabez says holding his pinky out.  "Hey ma one last thing" "what?" "You do look a little sickly you should get some rest" thanks I couldn't tell that I was feeling good and before you leave whats up with London posting negative things about me on Instagram what did I ever do to her" "she what?" Jabez says.