Deadly Games

This is Love

My friends always told me to laugh it off

When a boy pushed me down

Because it meant that he liked me

So I did

I just fell to the ground, pushed back the tears

and laughed

Because that was how he showed love

Was that love?

When I got to high school

I met a boy

Who kissed me with his fists

and left love letters on my skin

in shades of black and blue

It hurts so badly

But I remembered what my friends told me

so I just hid the pain

and laughed

Was that love?

I've been with him 2 years now

and he's started pouring gasoline

over my broken body

I guess that means he truly loves me

I want to tell someone

because sometimes it feels wrong

But it can't be

My friend's words ring in my ears

"It's just how he shows love"

Maybe I should love myself

the way he loves me

Kiss myself with bloody razors

write deep love poems on my wrists

Everyday he stands there, pouring fuel on me

and holding out a match

Is this love?

I take the match and strike it

smiling, light myself on fire

Burning to the ground

I laugh it off

This is love

(e.b)