Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.
- Steven Wright
If there was an award for laziness, I’d probably send somebody else to pick it up.
I’m not a complete idiot. Some pieces are missing.
Don’t believe any rumor until the government denies it.
Be nice to nerds, because you may end up working for one!
I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
-Rodney Dangerfield
She got her good looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
-Groucho Marx
All my life I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of potato chips!
There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory.
Right now I’m having amnesia and deja vu at the same time, I think I’ve forgotten this before.
-Steven Wright
Superman really isn’t that impressive, anyone can stop a speeding bullet at least once.
I ran into my ex today... put it in reverse and did it again!
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Just For More Laughter
Random"Laughter is the best medicine but if you're laughing for no reason, you may need medicine." ? "Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive." ? Hello awesome people! Welcome to this joke book. It is actually a continuation of my other jo...
