𝐉𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐀 𝐅𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝

chapter 39- Confessing and giving up

kenzie's p.o.v

"You..you like me?" Johnny spluttered, his thick eyebrows raised.

I looked down, nodding my head slowly.

He gaped at me.

"No way. No way. No way. No way."
He said, pressing his fingers against his temples, staring at me in disbelief.

"I do John. I've liked you for as long as I can remember."
God I can't believe I'm doing this.

His breath hitched.
He stared back at me, wonder and a strange yearning in his eyes.

"John I've liked you for as long as I can remember. But I can't do this anymore. You've unknowingly always got my hopes up with your senseless flirting. But best friends," I shook my head,"best friends don't go around kissing each other."

He wasn't saying anything, just staring at me wide eyed and open mouthed.

I paused, assessing his expression before starting bitterly,
"I always saw you messing around with girls and it never really bothered me because I knew you were never serious about them and I was more important to you than any of them. seeing you with Nadia and how serious you were about her, made me realise where I stand and where you stand. I realised what I felt for you properly." I sighed,"That's why I'm giving up on our friendship john,"

he opens his mouth to respond  but I interrupted.

"I can't make you choose between me and Nadia because the truth is that I'm done." I enunciated slowly,"If you meant what you said about our friendship being ruined before Nadia, then I think this was meant to happen anyways."

"But- I didn't mean that!" Johnny spluttered.

He whispered urgently,"I was pissed at the time but now I know that the only reason this is happening is cause you were jealous of Nadia.. and that's okay Kenz."
He said, moving towards me.

My breath hitched when he put his hand on the small of my back, raising the other hand to run his fingers through my hair.

The touch was so gentle, so tender it made my entire body freeze.

He looked at me, vulnerably, his lips slanting downward as if he was taking great care in forming the words he wanted to say to me.

"The truth is that I like you too. I always have. Maybe even long before you did."

I could do nothing but stare at him in silence. It was his turn, shocking me. Leaving me winded.

He wanted me all this time too?

"The reason I kissed you that day in Six flags was cause just the thought of you with that fucker was killing me. Exactly like what happened with Jacob. I like you so much. Like isn't even a good enough word to describe how crazy I am about you." It was a desperate, honest admission and my heart was fluttering uncontrollably.

I couldn't keep the thoughts in my head straight.
Johnny why do you say all these things to me? Why do you make me hope, when there is nothing to hope for?

At that moment my room door burst open.
It was Maddie.

I jerked away from Johnny..
"I'll give you a minute but you better hurry up. Everyone's asking where you guys are."

"Just make up an excuse. Tell mom I'm not so hungry right now."
I muttered.

She looked from Johnny to me and then back, before she nodded. Then Maddie turned and shut the door behind her.