Matty Healy // i think we've done it all

stay?

i woke before matty again. i studied his face for what felt like hours, every line i traced with my eyes. i remembered the first time i woke up in his bed, i was 16 and it was after the party. nothing happened that night, we were both too drunk to even talk. but he carried me to his bed and he slept on the floor.

i remembered because before i passed out he tied my hair up in a clumsy ponytail. i remember waking up the next morning and looking at him slumped in the corner, it made me laugh to see him. he looked so young asleep back then, nothing like he did today. back then he was mainly tattoo less, his hair was more tame and he smiled in his sleep. now he had lines forming, bags under his eyes from where he worked too hard, hair that flew in every direction. but his smile was still the same, still placed perfectly on his face.

sighing i got out of bed and walked towards the large window in our bedroom. i lifted the blind, arching my back, letting my hair fall. my face fell upon the glass and i started out at the people below. the rushed passed without a second thought. for me and the boy i'd loved for years.

i looked back at him till curled in a ball, he began to stir but i kept my gaze on him
"morning babe" he mumbled into the pillow
"morning matty" i smiled. the simple word of babe transported me back to england and i could almost taste the rain we got caught in.
"don't you have work?" i asked
"not today" he grinned
"me neither!"
"let's do something" he said
"what?" i asked. he tapped his nose indicating he had something planned
"just get dressed and leave the rest to me" ,i giggled kissing his forehead before skipping towords our walk on closest.

i picked out mom jean shorts, a white bandeau top and black rimed raybans paired with black doc martins and a michael kors cross body. by the time i got back matty was dressed in black skinny jeans and a white t-shirt
"matching shoes" he commented indicating our doc martins, i smiled
"where too then?" i asked
"let me show you" he said pulling my hand towards him, our lips connected and it all felt so familiar.

we walked out of the apartment hand in hand and i couldn't help but smile. various people along the way stopped matty for a photo, i liked seeing him with fans, he was so gentle, so humble. we walked down a road
"matty isn't this the way to the studio?"
"you're clever" he sneered
"why?" i asked confused, he laughed
"you'll see be quiet would you"

once we reached the studio matty pushed open the door to reveal a picnic on the floor and an empty room
"suprise" he said, tears clouded my eyes and i smiled at him
"i love it matty" and i sincerely meant it. we sat on the floor cross legged and sag into the fats he had prepared. half way through he brought out a bottle of wine and told me this was how he wanted it to stay
"what do you mean?" i asked him, he wouldn't meet my eyes
"matty?" i asked growing scared
"i wrote you a song" he confessed, he got up and walked towards the mixing desk, he played it. it was an instrumental
"matty this is .. beautiful ?" , he nodded
"i've heard it?" i questioned
"this is the finished version just listen"
the track finished and once again years formed in my eyes
"you like it?" he asked scared
"i love it, what's it called?"
"it's not got one yet" he told me
"it's your songs. it's our song" he added
"is it finished? without the title?" i aksed, i didn't mean the song
"no, it's far from finished" he assured me sitting beside me once more.

perhaps there was a chance we could survive