Matty Healy // i think we've done it all

morning sweetheart

8am

i didn't know exactly what i'd been doing for the past three hours but i knew i was knee deep in pasta and the sun was brighter than ever. my head felt like someone was inside drilling away and my mouth tasted like sick.
i had work in one hour and i couldn't think of anything worse.
sighing i walked to my room, i had showered at least after my dispute with matty so i was clean. i opened my wardrobe and decided on blue light wash jeans with slits in the knees and a grey nike hoddie. i pulled my black denim jacket over the top for good measure and brushed through my semi wet hair.

opening the glass door and stepping onto the balcony. the air rushed in taking away the smell of wine and cigarettes which speaking of i lit up.
inhaling the menthol as the smoke drifted around me felt peaceful. i decided i should check my phone incase anything important had happened within the past few hours in which i had momentarily died

new messages from:
jake
george
matty
amelia&liam

i smiled at every one apart from mattys,

jake: hey! i miss u and i hope we can catch up soon x

smiling i typed a quick reply

maya: of course!!

it felt so distant, like we never connected. LA was a life away now. i was london maya, fresh chance maya. maybe i should forget everything and everyone from the past

george: matty is mad
george: i'm worried
george: r u ok

i sighed, matty wasn't my babysitter and it wasn't his place to worry or even care about me anymore. not that he ever did when we were together.

maya: i'm ok. tell matty to fuck off x

i wanted to leave mattys for last so that's exactly what i did. next was the group chat with my two passed our best friends, it was nice to know they were still alive at the very least

liam: oi u coming tonight maya
amelia: pls do
liam: it was so fun xxxxx
amelia: COMEEEEE

i flicked the cigarette and laughed to myself, this was my new life. model and avoiding her ex next door by day, party animal by night

maya: of course bbies
maya: see u at bethnal green

i couldn't avoid the elephant in the room, mattys message loomed over me. i knew he was mad but i knew that at 5 am this morning. i just didn't know if i cared.

matty: i know you don't want to hear it but i'm worried about you and you shouldn't be drinking at 5 am. i know i did this but please, be careful

i wanted to be angry but the anger had left my body. i was just numb by this point. there was no escaping this boy. id left america to leave him and he followed me to england, hell he followed me to my apartment complex. i didn't want to think about the looming possibility it was all because we were meant to be together. i didn't want him, i really didn't.
i didn't reply to the text, instead i stubbed my cigarette out.
it was 8:10 and it only took me 10 minutes to get to work so i decided i would take a stroll.

i wandered back through my apartment, grabbing my keys from the counter and switching the lights off. i walked down the stairs and into the fresh air, it was since to be outside in the light.

i decided a coffee would be a good idea after last night so i strolled to costa, the barista greeted me with a warm smile
"morning" he said, his skin was smooth and caramel and his eyes a deep brown
"morning" i breathed getting lost in them, his hair was brown and tousled. he felt like a breath of fresh air
"um can i have an iced coffee please" i said trying to break eye contact even thought i didn't want to
"of course" he relied
"to go?" he asked
"yes please" i nodded my head, he smirked at this, i couldn't help but let my lips turn into a smile.

i pulled out my phone to avoid the awkwardness, i saw a text from george and the group chat

george: mattys sorry, don't b too hard. let's catch up asap x

i smiled, i didn't want to lose him

maya: of course!!

the group chat was next, it truly was nice being back with them, they were my best friends and always would be. i couldn't ask for anyone better.

amelia: WOOOO
liam: see u tonight bb

smiling to myself i tucked my phone in my back pocket as the barista handed me my coffee and smiled with a cheeky grin
"thankyou" i said sweetly
"see you round!" he called after me as i walked away and out of the cool doors.
i began to drink the cold coffee while waking to work, i didn't even pay attention until the cup caught the light and i saw the scribbled words
07917127621
i smiled again, he had given me his phone number. he was beautiful and he seemed funny so maybe i would call him.
i snapped a picture of the cup on my phone before opening the glass doors and being hit by the smell of new clothes.
time to work.