My mind is an endless trap
Full of roadblocks and countless insecurities
I swear I'm trying
I don't want to run from you
But my mind tells me to flee
I don't know what to do when something good enters my life
I'm a screw up
A weapon of mass destruction
I don't want you to burn with me
You shouldn't have to deal with my anxiety and tears
You'll witness my pain
You'll see my joy
You'll face my worst, my depression and anxiety
I have so many things planned
There's the unplanned that tears at my mind
I know how you feel
I see it in your smile
I feel it in your presence beside me
I have walls to protect myself
But there's a nagging voice in my mind
It tells me I'm worthless
It tells me I'm just being used
It tells me I'm ugly and disgusting
It tells me there's no beauty
It penetrated the walls
I only hope I'm good enough
Even though I know I'm not
I never will be good enough
Someone will always be better
But for you I wish I was finally enough
And that the voice in my mind would finally shut up
The nightmares haunt me
Visions of a life I haven't lived
Visions of the things I have
You're going to hate me
Just like the voice that makes me hate me
I wanted to live
For the first time in months, I craved life
But the voice returned and now my mind conflicts my soul
I wanna be good enough
But I'm only a failure
YOU ARE READING
Paper Life
RandomThis is my shitty poetry book to help sort through the thoughts and feelings coursing through me. Some of it probably isn't real poetry but just words. NOTE: There will not be regular updates.
