The Half Lies of the Circus

Chapter Seven --- III - IV

III

       ...Caspar was buried... Prince was burned and Princess now has a small portion of his ashes in a capsule necklace I don't think she'll ever take off... The troupe and i dressed ourselves in black, for mourning and I think it might be a permanent color change of wardrobe.. Even Mr. Dust, who passed me in the hall? Wears completely black and just nodded to me when he saw me... Princess is asleep in our room, under a safe but heavy sedative, and everybody else is grieving in their rooms... Except me... I have something to do... And i'm here... Face to face with that door of my childhood sweetheart to my betrayer and enemy. I knock softly and it opens soon after; and i see Morgan before me, his own red eyes meet mine, and I know even he took this hard.

   "I um... heard about what happened...Are you okay?" he asks softly, his voice cracked and i flinch at the word... None of us are 'okay' right now..

  "I... Can I come in?" I ask and he looks surprised but nods, holding his door open more.

  "Of course; come on in." He says, his voice genuine, but his eyes showing his shock. I slip into his room between him and the wooden room; nostalgia washing over me at being in his room. He shuts the door and walks over to his bed, looking like a child again.

  "Do you uh... Wanna sit?" He asks, sitting on his bed, and I give him a small smile before sitting on the window seat where I used to sit every time I came into this room.

  "I um... I wanted to thank you for two things... and apologize." i say softly and he looks at me even more surprised.

  "I... For what?" He asks shocked and I take in a deep breath and sigh.

  "Thank you... For warning me there was a snake in our group... And I'm sorry.. For not heeding it... i know you wouldn't just waste your breath and that you have no reason to warn me but you did anyway." I say and he holds up a hand.

  "Wait, hold up there. You know I still care about the-" He begins but I cut him off.

  "But it's really not true anymore that you care so I'll just say um--" i begin but now he cuts me off.

  "Hey, you said you were sorry. Listen to me to make up for it." He says and I shut my mouth with an audible noise but immediately wish i hadn't.

  "Mari... When we were little, how many of us were there?" He asks and I shake my head.

  "Five." I say and he flinches, but shakes his head slightly.

  "No, how many of us were there?" He asks and I bite my lip before answering.

  "Six." I breathe and he nods a little.

  "That's right... You, The little highnesses, Nick, Callie, and...?" he trails off and hurt strikes through me.

  "And you." i say softly and he nods.

"You may not ever believe me but Mari you guys gave me the best childhood I could have ever asked for. I loved Prince as if he was my own blood brother... And I know you remember the way I felt about you... I know you think it was all a lie but it wasn't... I was never acting... It wasn't my... I didn't know they'd had me experiment upon you with the little snacks and things they had me give you..." he whispers and I can see the topic paining him and I swipe at my welling up eyes. I stand sharply, and look at my shoes to keep from looking at him.

"I... I wanted to thank you also for taking Princess out of the tank when i asked for her out.. I'd like to leave now." I say and I go to the door but he catches my arm, and he's standing, staring at me.