Lines

Chapter 18

I didn't bother going immediately back into the hospital room, but I didn't bother following Connor either. Every part of me knew that I was wrong and I couldn't deny that.

I thought about what Will was about to ask me earlier.

"Do you know someone named Co-"

His voice played over and over in my head and I began to wonder if he had noticed what Connor noticed. Neither of them deserved this, but my selfishness was getting in the way of things.

I strolled down the hallway, not really knowing where I was headed, but I needed to clear my head and figure out a way to fix things without messing them up any further. Oh how the tables have turned.

I played with the poem that Connor had written me, not sure if I should open it or not. I didn't exactly know how my emotions would play out.

I got to the elevator and pressed the down button. I further contemplated opening the poem as I waited for the elevator. As soon as I began to unfold the piece of paper, the elevator dinged.

I shoved the piece of paper into my sweatpants pocket and stepped in the elevator. I took out my phone and began to take pictures in the elevator mirror, making silly faces, hoping that would cheer me up.

It worked briefly, until the elevator reached the lobby. I walked out of the elevator and towards the hospital entrance. I decided that maybe I'd just go for a walk.

As I was leaving out of the hospital, I saw some fine ass light skin walking in. He had big, pink lips, curly hair, and small hoop earrings in. I loved a nigga in some dangly earrings.

He must have caught me staring because he sent me a wink and licked his lips and we crossed paths. I looked back to see if I was going crazy, but he was now walking backwards with his hands in his pocket, and sent me one final wink before spinning around and heading to the front desk.

I turned back around, upset that he didn't stop and ask me for my number. I quickly shook my head of the thought realizing that that was what got me where I am in the first place.

I wanted to be like Hannah Montana with the best of both worlds, but now I'm Alicia Keys with no one. I mean, Will hadn't yet figured out what happened, but it was bound to happen. That wasn't who I really wanted anyways.

After some critical thinking, I'd realized that Will was just someone that I ran to when I didn't have Connor. I'd entertain him at night when Connor wouldn't respond, and when Connor and I had fallen out, I turned to Will.

He didn't deserve to be used and Connor didn't deserve to be played. The only problem was trying to figure out how to prove to Connor that I only wanted him and let Will down gently after all of the mixed signals I had given him.

As I turned the corner of the hospital, I decided to give one last shot at reading Connor's apology. I pulled the piece of paper out of my pockets, unfolded it, and began to read:

You deserve the world
And that world includes the truth
But all I told were lies
And for that, I apologize to you

I see a future with you
But my lies stand in the way
So here goes the truth
I hope you choose to stay

I took a brief break from reading the poem so that I could recollect my emotions. I didn't know what could be so important that he had been willing to risk our relationship to tell me, but seeing that he was made me realize even more how stupid I was. I should have just trusted him.

I looked up from the paper to wipe my eyes. By the time I could see clearly, someone was standing in front of me, in a hospital mask.

I tried to turn around and head the other way, but someone was there too, wearing the same mask. I turned around once more to try and make a run for it, but before I could, I felt my arms being held behind my back and a rag with a wet substance was placed over my mouth and nose.