a brief inquiry into online relationships {tyler joseph}//UNDERGOING EDITING

♡ just sleep for me, okay? ♡

WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS CONTENT THAT COULD POTENTIALLY BE TRIGGERING. IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO SUBJECTS OF HOSPITALS OR ANESTHESIA, PLEASE READ CAUTIOUSLY OR DON'T READ AT ALL. I LOVE YOU. STAY SAFE.

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~t y l e r~

I met daisy's parents, but not in the setting that I originally imagined. instead of being around a  kitchen table and getting to know each other, we were all sitting in a hospital room waiting for the doctor to give daisy the "ok" to head in for surgery. she was laying down on a hospital bed, adorned in a hospital gown, her honey blonde hair in braids and her eyes puffy from not sleeping the night before.

she still looked as beautiful as ever.

daisy's mom looked at me with tired eyes, like she hadn't slept since the news broke that daisy was having surgery. I gave her a kind smile as she walked up to me.

"we're gonna go get some more paperwork for her. text us with updates." I just gave her a nod and she pulled me in for a warm hug. it was just like how a mother's embrace was supposed to feel, kind and safe. just before she pulled away, she whispered to me,
"thank you for taking care of our girl. you already mean so much to us."

"it's not hard to take care of someone like her. I hope to be able to take care of her for the rest of my life."

"we wouldn't want anyone else to take care of her." the words warmed my heart as she said them. with that her parents walked out of the room quietly, careful not to disturb the now medicated and sleeping daisy. unfortunately, a few seconds after they left the room daisy woke up and was immediately confused.

"ty.." she said while breathing heavily. "where are mom and dad? they said they'd be here the whole time.." by now she was starting to get upset. it could be the lack of sleep, it could be the medication they gave her to calm down, it could be the fear and anxiety, but nonetheless she still had tears welling up in her eyes.

"hey, it's okay angel." I said gently as I went over to her bedside. "they'll be back soon love. they didn't leave, I promise. they're just getting some paperwork to fill out before they can see you." I started to stroke her cheek and wipe the tears that had escaped from her eyes. she started to cry even harder when she said,

"t-tyler i'm so scared" she sobbed. "I don't know if I can do it. what if it doesn't work? what if I go through all of this for nothing? what if...what if I just end up being disappointed? tyler please get me out. I can't stay here. I really can't. I-" her chest was heaving. I've never seen her this panicked and upset.

my heart broke.

tears were streaming rapidly down her face and her cheeks became red. her hands were trembling and she looked so vulnerable and lost. I've never seen her like this.

"shhh, daisy girl. it's okay. I've got you baby. things are going to be okay. I promise. I'll be right there the whole time you're in your room, and so will your parents. we're not going anywhere, alright baby? we're gonna be right there with you. and when you get into your room, I promise you the first thing you're gonna feel is my lips against your forehead and my fingers in your hair. I swear, baby." now i'm the one to start crying "I'm not gonna let them hurt you. okay? they won't get to lay a finger on my daisy. my daisy. m-my daisy." I felt like the more her name rolled off of my lips, the closer I was to seeing her sick and weak. I was gonna lose the daisy I know and be met with a daisy that I've never seen before. the more I said her name, the more true it became. I buried my head into her chest and we just held each other close. one last feeling of warmth before we both have to let go.

we stayed like that for a few minutes. until our tears ceased. until we heard someone opening our door.

"8:15 on the dot." the doctor said in a cheery tone. "good morning, ms. daisy. are you ready?"

her mouth said "yes" but her eyes pleaded no. suddenly a swarm of nurses came in and started getting ready to wheel her into the next room. hooking her up to machines and adjusting her gown, trying to make sure she was as comfortable as she should be. before they started wheeling her away, I leaned down towards her and grabbed her hand.

"it's okay. you're strong. god, you are so strong my love. just sleep for me, okay?" she nodded her head and right as she did that, I kissed her hand for the last time before they took her to the operating room.

——

"okay, daisy. I'm gonna give you the anesthetic now, okay?" the brunette headed woman said. I nodded. what else was I supposed to do except nod? suddenly a mask was placed over my face and I breathed in the smell of chemicals. I felt the anesthetic flow through my veins seamlessly, as if my body welcomed the feeling of unconsciousness. by body started to tingle and my surroundings became foggy and unclear. I could only see the bright lights above me and the nurses face looking down at me. "okay, hon. I'm gonna need you to start counting backwards from ten for me." once again, I nodded. but it didn't feel the same as before. my head didn't feel like my own, it felt heavy and out of place.

10

there isn't any way to back out now. I can already start to feel my eyelids getting heavy.

9

why did I say yes? I should've just kept my mouth shut. it would've saved my parents the money.

8

god and tyler too, this worried him so much. I would've saved him so much pain if I had just said no.

7

watch this not even be worth it. I'll spend hours under the knife to get nothing out of this.

6

but I have to do this. I've worked too hard to not at least try. I didn't spend almost twenty nine years of my life working and going to physical therapy and getting bruises all over my body from falling just to back out now.

5

this is it. it's gonna happen and I'll be okay. I'll see mom and dad and tyler soon.

4

I promise I'll work my ass off. I promise I'll make this worth it.

3

I promise I'll make this work.

2

I just have to sleep for now.

1

I promise I'll sleep for you.

I promise I'll sleep for you, ty....

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