Rejection's Chains

~*17*~ Decisions and party

My whole body stopped my whole life just broke in front of me, I... I didn't think things could get any worse! I thought I would be able to move on from all of this, but no! The moon goddess just can't let me be happy, she can't and she made that very clear from the very start, from birth till now. What do I have left? What else can she ruin? She's pretty much ruined everything now.

Tears streamed down my face as I held those two test and they kept on flowing, the thought of having THAT demons baby inside me disgusted me, and I don't know what to do how will I go through this life, is it even worth living anymore!?

I stayed there for a while....for a long while, my tears wouldn't stop the image of two lines wouldn't go no matter how far I threw the tests, his smile wouldn't erase from my memory nothing would disappear MY PROBLEMS JUST DON'T.....disappear.

Is this how my whole life will continue? Will I just cry until I die? Cause half my life now all I've done is CRY! And I can't really fix that, because I can't fix or write my destiny it's only in the hands of the moon goddess that lady who seems to hate MY GUTS!

I got up slowly, my vision was blurry from all the crying, my eyes were bright red it almost looked like I was crying blood. I don't know why but I started laughing, laughing at my own pathetic life a life I had no control over.

I rubbed my eyes and opened my bathroom door. I slowly made my way to my bed and sat down, bringing my knees to my chest.

I glanced again at the pregnancy test that sat on my hand, and in anger I threw them, as far as I could I wished they would disappear but they where just there on the floor.... white.

I suddenly felt the urge to scratch myself so hard that I would disappear, so I did I scratched and scratched my bare legs raw until they bled, I didn't know why I did it it just somehow got rid of some of my frustration.

I started to feel light headed and so with that I just laid down and before I knew it I was asleep, I fell into deep slumber.

It felt peaceful... it felt nice I didn't have any worries here I was the one that controlled my dream land, only me.

I walked around in the darkness there was nothing here, nothing at all only me, I strangely didn't feel lonely I felt calm and happy... why?

I continued walking until I heard something...

cries...?

what was going on who's crying?

Stop crying!

Why are you crying?

Tell me why!

And with that I only received little babbles, it was a baby? A small innocent baby who had done nothing, nothing at all.

Where were it's parents?

Why are they not here?

Is it not wanted?

That's not what should be happening no, an innocent child that did nothing wrong shouldn't have to be left by its parents,

why is it all alone?

I slowly reach for its face but it seems to go further away as I try to reach it, why?

Why does this babies cry seem so familiar? Like I've heard it before?

Suddenly a light breaks the darkness around me and show a forest, it's a familiar forest a forest I called my home once, sitting on the grass I see a little girl crying not knowing what to do, with no parents.

"Mummy? Daddy where are you why did the wolves do that why did they hurt you" the little girl cried,

I wanted to tell her to stop crying I wanted to tell her that crying won't fix anything and that crying will only lead to more pain and suffering and that she could do nothing to fix her tragic life because that girl was me...