Chasing Daylight

Felix, June 7, 2014

“Humanity is unfair, cruel, painful and sad. But that is what makes it worth living.” –– Felix

  “WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?” I demand the second Skailar steps out the breezed cafeteria.

  “I told you, we couldn’t find her. She just took off.” Tyler said in a rush of impatience.

  She was insatiable, never wanting to stop this little game of hers.

  If Brett hadn’t gotten involved…

  What the hell was I saying? If I hadn’t gotten involved, nobody else would have.

  I had to step up my game.

  “Well, where did she go?”

  “No clue. She jumped off, no trail, no scent, nothing. She went completely Houdini on us.” Brett scratched the back of his head, squinting into space.

  “She can’t get to her. I can’t allow it.” I insisted permanently.

  This girl was the only soul I had left to cling to for my humanity’s sake. Humanity, humanity. That’s all any of us ever go on about.

  But why would we say anything verbally? Twenty percent don’t care and eighty percent are glad we have something to wish for but know it will never come true.

  But love is underestimated by every human with no experience. Love is a five second embrace a mile away and a kiss is saying, I love you but you don’t love me so get on with it.

  I know this from history. History that has brought me up into darkness with no light at the end of my tunnel.

  Hell, what tunnel? I had no tunnel. No end. Every year, decade and century passing over my head is like an eternity each second. I could never fathom my interest in this human. She wasn’t right for me. I’d never be able to show any love to her. Give her a life that she deserves. One where she grows, lives, experiences, and then dies. I want to be with her for that. I want her to be my humanity.

  But not her death…

  “She won’t, Felix. She wants you. But she’s using her. Don’t let her do that to you.” Havana warmly reassured me. A shudder ran through me and I just briefly closed my eyes, thinking back eight nights ago when I’d earned a kiss from her lips, a breath of her hair, a touch of her hand. All three things were worth more than all eternity.

  The way her affection cascaded through me, like she was my cure, burned me. She left me in ashes at every gaze. I loved her too much.

  So why was I trying to avoid her like the plague?

  Right, because I hardly knew her. And I was her one-way ticket to death.

  “Just…someone needs to take shifts guarding her at her house. I can’t take any risks here.” I amended.

  “Right. I’ll take the first shift.” Tyler volunteered. I nodded in appreciation. Maybe I was going over my own head with safety but at the stakes this high, she’s too much to lose.

  I can’t lose my cure.