Chasing Daylight

Skai, December 18, 2014

  “I was out for, like, two seconds, okay? Can you give me a break?”

  It has been an entire week that I have been stuck inside this cabin. Don’t get me wrong, it’s really warm and cozy in here, but I actually want to go outside. Draven and Felix and Tyler are walking behind me as I walk back into the main room where Daemon is sitting in front of a small TV, watching the Lost series Draven had put on for him about an hour ago.

  “Skai, it only take one second for her to spot you––”

  “So, you’re saying she’s here already?” I snap, turning to face Draven.

  “We don’t know…” Draven starts out but Felix walks up in front of me.

  “Did you see me go out?” I demand from him.

  “No, I didn’t…”

  “That’s not the point…” Draven says.

  “I did. Okay? I saw you go out.” Tyler butts into the conversation I glare at him while Felix lets out a ferocious growl in his direction.

  “Stay out of it,” I throw at him and he rolls his eyes.

  “I’d listen to her…” Brett mutters to the side from lying down on the bed.

  “Skailar, it’s not the point, alright? You’re supposed to stay inside, period––”

  “Will one of you please just give me a break? I can’t stay inside here, I can’t-I can’t breathe in this place, I need some air––!”

  “C’mon, cut her some slack.” Everyone is silent on Brett’s word. “She’s been stuck in this place for more than a week with the paranoia of a psychotic doppelgänger trying to kill her, alright?” he explains softly, and then gets louder. “Now give the damn girl a break and shut the hell up.” He orders and closes his eyes again, looking as if he is sleeping.

  No one dares say anything after that. Draven walks up to Daemon while Tyler just backs away. But Felix stares at me for a long while before taking my hand in his.

  “…don’t go outside.” He tells me softly and kisses the top of my hand before walking away, leaving me to stand beside the bed where Brett is still acting as if he is sleeping.

  “Can I ask you a question?” he asks me as if he has never given me a reason to think that he has ever hated me in the slightest.

  I sit on the edge of the bed. “Okay.” I allow.

  “…do you honestly think it’s worth it?” He keeps his eyes closed. I am confused by his choice of words and just stare at him for a little while.

  “What is?”

  “All this. Is risking your life and your family’s worth it? All for your boyfriend?” he finally opens his eyes to look at me, and I cross my legs.

  “…I love him.” I whimper, and can’t believe I am talking to his half-brother about this. “He’s worth everything I know.”

  “Really? A soulless monster that kills to survive and has an unquenchable thirst for human blood?”

  “Well this isn’t exactly a vampire rollercoaster.” I eye him.

  “Frankly, my dear,” he murmurs, his mouth barely moving. “I don’t give a damn.”

  “Well, Rhett, I give a damn about the one who actually makes me happy.” I tell him angrily, suddenly feeling very tense. He ignores my anger that is threatening to burst through and just smirks at me. This may be a turn-around.

  I think I may be the one who hates him instead of the other way round. I glare at him for a while before he rolls his eyes. “Okay, I’m sorry. But isn’t it just human instinct?”

  Huh?

  “You know. ‘Every man for himself’ vibes? Isn’t it, like, ninety nine percent selfishness?”

  “Well, I think you’ll find that the angel-human rate is a little lower.” I tell him and turn my attention elsewhere, but stay on the bed. But this time my cell phone rings, and Felix is quick to grab it before I realize someone is calling. He stares at the ID for about four seconds before tearing his gaze to me.

  “…Stefan?” he asks me and I rattle my brain to think. Do I want to talk to him? I hate him, I absolutely hate him, but I can’t deny the fact that he is still my father and I will (unfortunately) always be his daughter so I nod and he hands me the vibrating phone. I stare at the name before answering.

  “A holiday isn’t subtle enough for you? Should I blatantly point out that I’m trying to get away from you?” Okay, maybe that is a little harsh, but should I feel guilty? He left us for almost fourteen years for the love of god.

  “I honestly do understand that, Skailar. But you have to understand why I left––”

  “It can’t wait till I get back?” If I get back. Who knows if I’m going to survive…?

  I hear a muffled voice and then a clearer sigh. “It will be better the sooner I explain. But if it would suit you better, I can wait.”

  I know what I want to say but I don’t know if it’s the right thing for me. Only a few waves of wonder enter my mind: The way he reacted to seeing Felix for the first time was and still is impenetrable. I think it gave all three of us a demoralizing, twisted feeling inside and is leaving a large gash of vulnerability across us.

  My father leaves. Never writes, calls or gives us any personal reason at all to tell us that he is still aware that we exist and then, out of the blue, comes back to become our legal guardian. Why? Why the sudden change of mind? He’s only America’s top best-selling author anyways. There’s no need to give that all up for family.

  “What is it?” I finally answer.

  “Skailar…Jared explained to me what you and Felix Sanestarro are…”

  “So? Like you can do anything about it––”

  “That’s not exactly what I’m trying to talk about.” He interrupts me quickly, almost sounding disturbed.

  “Then what is it?” I demand, impatient now. This really isn’t something I’d like to talk about while my psychotic doppelgänger is on the run to be the cause of my slow, torturously painful death.

  “He also told me about Dylan.”

  Shit. With a sweep of goosebumps crawling across my skin, I close my eyes to hide tears. “He did?” I manage to choke out but try to sound casual.

  “Yes, he did. But, please, whatever it is, it’s your business and I am not one to get into it.”

  Really? Stefan, my father doesn’t want to get into this? I want to question him but decide it is best to keep quiet about the subject.

  “Oh…well…thank you.” I murmur quietly and hear him clear his throat.

  “But I still want to be around you, Skailar. You are still my daughter, and you have absolutely no idea what I’ll go through to get you back.” He explains to me but I don’t answer much.

  “Okay.” I say quickly, and look at Felix who takes the phone from me immediately. I give him a look of gratefulness and sit back on the bed. Brett is still staring at me as if he’s going to start snickering and I look away from him again.

  My throat feels thick and dry from the thought of Dylan and spend the rest of the night picturing our time together, how happy he’d made me when he was around to save me from society when it became too much and I know that when I see his face, I will drift into my fantasy world where I feel as if he is right by my side. But running after those memories is like chasing daylight in the pure darkness.