Chasing Daylight

Felix, December 10, 2014

Chapter 16

  I UNDERSTAND, MORE THAN ANYONE, WHAT IS IN THAT BOOK AND WHAT MY HUMAN GIRLFRIEND WILL BE READING. What will she think though? How will she react?

  I have made a mental working page and have figured out in milliseconds that there is a sixty five point five percent chance that she will not return to me. That what she reads in that little book of mine is sure to be the one reason she has been looking for to run away from me and never come back.

  I have been waiting endlessly for this girl to come to her senses and realize how idiotic she is being by accepting me. Look where she is now. On a journey to self-destruction. Okay, I may be paraphrasing a little but technically, she has chosen to be such a large section of my life. She is aware of the dangers and is on the run from her death. So technically she is doing this mostly to herself. This of this makes me think of those scars she showed me that one night where I truly bared my soul to her. Well, mostly Tyler did but she understands. A part of me makes me think that those scars on her under-forearms are not the only scars and that some of them are from self-mutilation. And that is what scares the absolute hell out of me. Not that I will be one of those typical boyfriends who will leave her first chance he gets because But, babe, who wants to be with someone who has scars and cuts herself and thinks she’s no better than to cut herself?

  Ha! It’s going to take a lot more than that. And who am I to judge? I don’t know what all she has been through, I have never been invited into her world she could call her personal hell.

  I have my own hell, too. I am inclined to leave her and be a total asshole about it but I have the opportunity to stay with her and help her through it as well. I’d say that there is not much of a choice needed here.

  I know right now that Skai is in that other (and only) room, reading every words written and every hell and fear in that book.

  That fear is very much clearly me.