Chasing Daylight

Skai, December 10, 2014

Chapter 15

  IT’S 7AM AND IT IS STILL COMPLETELY DARK WHEN WE LAND AND DRAVEN WAKES ME UP. I was so sure I had fallen asleep in Felix’s arms––not that I’m complaining. I’m still waiting for him to explain how any of this is related to my daughter’s deceased father, though I don’t expect this to be easy for him to talk about. It’s his brother after all.

  Apart from me, Dylan was all Draven had left of family. His family had disowned him, he always ended up finding ways to get himself into some kind of trouble, whether it was in a relationship or self-mutilation, he would be first in line, whether he knew what he was getting into or not.

  Draven is the one who just happened to be the hated one in the family, he happened to be the one who got kidney failure from ecstasy, he just happened to be the one to be a suicide magnet. Before we stepped off the plane, Felix wrapped me in his jacket and as soon as the wind hit us, I understood why. My entire body tensed up as we walked through the glass tube that connected to the plane door and the ever so tiny airport.

  But who am I to judge? I am no better than he is. And that is probably why we are such great, close friends, because we understand each other better than we understand ourselves.

  I constantly ask Draven why he is so persistent on dying. What does he see in death that satisfies him so much?

  “I look forward to death,” he starts explaining. “Because nobody is there to disturb my sleep.”

  And it scares me to admit that sometime he may have a point. Technically this is very true, but the way he puts it will always be enough to keep me up at night, worrying about what he is doing or thinking of doing in my absence.

  “Lead the way, Emo.” Tyler dramatically steps to the side for Draven to walk passed, and then Felix walks me passed him and I can’t even look at him.

  I just can’t. Not because I am incredibly angry with him, but because I am afraid that all I will be able to see out of him is the face of a monster. No longer the Tyler I knew. Just a monster that only sees death through his eyes.

  There are barely any people in the airport. I we’re lucky, we see maybe a couple people on every check out point.

  And it is so quiet! You cough and it echoes through the entire airport. Which has got to be only about two hundred and fifty meters.

  When I looked out the large windows on the different floors, it was foggy; the air was almost smoky with it. The mist was ice cold where it clung to the exposed skin on my face and neck when it blew through some cracked open windows.

  Felix is back in silent, serious mode. He won’t answer my questions yet, he won’t look at me and he keeps the hard, agonized, almost furious look on his face.

  He just checks us out of the airport with our little luggage and we wait outside for a taxi or something to take us to Draven’s little house. I haven’t been here before; it’s the one and only place he keeps isolated from me, so I think it is a damn miracle that he is allowing angels into his house, too.

  It is so cold out, my jaw starts to hurt from clenching it so tight, and Felix keeps his arms around me as tight as I can handle, keeping me warm.

  After about seven minutes, a taxi does come and Felix pushes me into it first, and the heat from inside the car hits me hard and it makes me uncomfortable.

  The snow is stuck to the ground, thick and making small slopes about knee-high. I can feel Tyler’s eyes on me, but I never acknowledge him. I want to pretend that he isn’t even here, but I can’t.