With Me

Chapter 24 Jon

YOU ARE LONGER MY BROTHER. I DON'T EVER WANT TO SEE YOUR UGLY FACE EVER AGAIN".

" FINE BY ME. I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOURS EITHER. I HATE YOU".

Then I slammed the front door. I stormed to my car and sat there for what felt like hours. My life is so screwed up now. All I wanted was to have a family. I didn't notice the three of them going off to the hospital. I sat in my car weeping like a baby which then made me cry more. Why am I so jealous?

It's been a week since my fight with my younger brother, Jordan. I have been in the same position curled up on my bed well our bed, Derek and I. He has been trying to get me to eat properly but I refuse. I have eaten very little since the fight. Derek has tried to help but I haven't been helping him. I have gone through every emotion from angry to sobbing myself to sleep. Poor Derek has not been getting any proper sleep at night as he has been helping me. Either I have woken up crying or I am sleepwalking. Basically, I have gone into a breakdown.

I am worried about Thanksgiving in November as I know Mom will want the whole family there. I can't bring myself wanting to go. I know everyone will want to know what's going on? And of course, they will be there. I know for fact my brother will bring her along to meet the family. But I can't bring myself to want to go as she will be there with his child growing inside her. She was a perfect match for us, me and Derek. And my brother ruined it like he always does. Jordan has done that since we were kids. The golden child he was, always getting away with stuff. No fair.

I don't want to speak to anyone. I have switched off my cellphone, unhooked the phone or refused to look at my Emails. I don't care my new movie is coming out and I need to do interviews. I am in a downhill spiral of depression. I have been sleeping during the day and crying at night. I am so messed up. I have locked myself away from the outside world. I don't want to know what is going on. Derek's cell is by my bedside cabinet and its there for a reason to get me to talk to people. I think the last time I look there were about 10 text messages all from my mom.

Where are you?

Are you ok?

Are you coming to Thanksgiving this year?

I'm worried Jon. I haven't heard from you. Are you alright?

Are you busy making another movie?.

Please come to Thanksgiving. I want the whole family there. Tiffany and her family. Joe and his. You and Derek. Jordan and his new girlfriend.

I just want to be left alone for a while. I pull the covers over me trying to hide away. I hear Derek coming in the room.  He sighs at the sight of me. I don't look like a movie star at the moment.

"I think it's time for you to see someone Jon before it gets too bad. I think you need to talk about".

No, I don't. I picked up a pillow and hid my head under it. I am going to hide for a while. He sighed again and walked out slamming the door. At this precise time, I don't care if I lose everyone.