Broken || Yoonmin (Depressed Yoongi)

10

•Trigger Warning•

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Yoongi's POV

I woke up feeling like shit, but then again I didn't  feel anything at all. I looked at the time on my phone, 10:26.I noticed that Jin wasn't in the room, maybe he's making breakfast.

I slowly got out of my bed and made my way to the bathroom. I looked in the mirror and started to point out all of the flaws on my face, my stomach and my legs.

I just wanted to be perfect, I'm tired of letting the group down. How did I even end up here?

I hopped in the shower and stood under the water with my head down. There were so many thoughts going through my head and I started to get a migraine.

I rubbed my temples then poked my head out to look for the only thing I wanted to see now. The razor.

I walked over to the cabinet and opened it. I stared at the razor for a few moments with dull eyes. I contemplated whether or not I should break my promise to Jin, but he doesn't have to find out.

I reached for the razor and examined it in my pale hands. I watched as the shiny metal reflected off of the light.

I lowered the razor in my hand down to my hip bone. I glided the razor over my porcelain skin, hissing in the process.

1 for not being perfect.
2 for being a failure.
3 for being fat.
4 for not being good enough.
5 for being a disappointment.
6 for being disgusting.

I continued gliding the blade on my hip, it hurt at first but started to get used to the pain I've been craving for so long. I cut more making deep cuts, watching as my hip turned a crimson red.

I watched as the blood trickled down my leg. I repeated the same on the other side, watching as some of the blood trickled in the floor, making a small puddle of blood. I felt numb and lightheaded.

I stared at the mirror for a second, my vision blurry and hazy. I fell over right beside the toilet seat, feeling like I was going to pass out any second now. A wave of fear washed over me.

What if Jin finds out? What if any of the other members find out? What will they do, they will hate me for being weak and pathetic, and maybe kick me out of the group.

I started to breath heavily and irregularly. My vision suddenly clouded with black dots and the bathroom started to spin around me.

After a few minutes, I came back to my senses. I got up from the floor, my legs like jelly, and walked over to the shower that was still on. I got back into the shower to wash off the crimson blood that was almost dry.

After I got out of the shower, I ruffled my hair and wrapped a black towel around my waist. Thank god the black towel was the only one left.

I got a bit of tissue paper and put it under the running tap. I then cleaned the blood off of the floor.

I cleaned the razor and then took out the first aid kit from the cabinet. I took out some sanitary wipes and wiped off my wounds, I hissed at the pain at first but I didn't mind the pain. I took a bandage out and put it in my wounded hips.

I dried myself off carefully, and flushed the tissue down the toilet. I got dressed in a oversized black hoodie and black jeans, then unlocked the bathroom door.

I walked over to my bed and got my phone. I walked over to the kitchen where I was greeted by the other members.

"Hyung, how are you feeling?" Jungkook asked.