Broken || Yoonmin (Depressed Yoongi)

12

Yoongi's POV

I was alone with my thoughts, wandering around the streets of Seoul. I shoved my hands in my pockets as it was getting cold.

I took my phone out if my pocket, instantly receiving numerous missed calls and texts from the other members.

Jinnie 14 missed calls and 9 unread messages.
Taetae 23 missed calls and 15 unread messages.
Chimchim 53 missed calls and 37 unread messages.

I looked at the time on my phone, 9:38. I left the dorms over 2 hours ago. I turned my phone off completely, so they couldn't contact me and put it back in my pocket.

I wondered over to the Mapo bridge, 'suicide bridge', as they call it. I kept walking down the footpath then gazed out to the Han river, leaning over the railing.

Do it. Just do it. You fucked up the whole group, you deserve this. Jimin confessed out of pity, he could never really like you. If you do it, it will be all over for you. No more disappointed, no more hate and no more pain.

I broke down crying, right there. I want the voices to leave me alone. Why does it keep coming back!

I looked around, there was a few cars driving by and I could see people staring. Thank god I wore a mask so I wouldn't get bombarded with possible haters nearby.

"Leave me alone" I whimpered to the wind, still sobbing my eyes out. My attempt to drown out the voices was useless.

I looked down, trying to see the river, as I contemplated whether or not I should just jump and end it here.

Do it, what are you waiting for? Someone to save you? Who would want to save you? Just end it already.

I bit the inside of my mouth which drew blood. I hit my hand on the railing out of frustration, not caring if I broke it or not.

If I jump now, I'm just being selfish. I deserve to endure more pain.

I looked up at the sky, staring at the clouds. There wasn't many stars out, but some were more prominent than others, making the sky glisten.

Time skip

I made my way back to the company building, it's like 12am now, guessing by the quiet nightlife.

I made my way into my studio. I put my phone in my hoodie pocket, took my coat off and flung it across the room. I plopped down on my couch and ruffled my hair.

You're a failure. Why didn't you just jump? You know I'm never leaving you right? There's only one way to get rid of me and you know what it is.

"Shut up" I whimpered, desperately trying to stop the voices from polluting my mind.

I then remembered that I kept a few bottles of whiskey and vodka in my storage unit beside my keyboard.

I jumped up and opened a half empty bottle of whiskey that would be empty soon.

I started to down it from the bottle, feeling the familiar burning and warm feeling in my chest and my throat.

I closed my eyes tightly, my grip on the bottle tightening with every gulp.

Not long after, the bottle was empty. I took out a bottle of vodka and started to down it also. I started to stumble around the studio room with the vodka bottle in hand.

I stumbled over to the couch, then watching as the room started spinning out of control.

After a few minutes, the room was still spinning, but not as bad.

I took my phone out of my pocket and turned it on. My screen was blurry and I couldn't see a thing.

I noticed that I was getting a call from someone, I swiped to answer the call and put my phone on loudspeaker.

"Who it t-this?" I said, feeling lightheaded, the alcohol really getting to me now.

"Ah hyung!!! You're okay! Where are you? It's been hours, come back we need to talk, please!!!" I listened to Jimin's voice, trying to make out what he was saying.

"Ah, Jimin ah! I'm not coming back to the dorm, why would I, you guys hate me and you guys are going to kick me out of the group" I said slowly, my eyes closing as I couldn't keep them open.

"Yoongi are you drunk? We don't hate you, you need help. Where are you, I'll come and get you-" "Yes, I was drinking, but I'm not out, I'm in my studio" I said as I began to lay down on my couch, putting the bottle on the floor.

"Why are you being like this Yoongi?" Jimin was angry now.

"Why is Diminie shouting? Hyung doesn't like that. Diminie is very scary when he is mad" I mumbled, I couldn't control what I was saying.

"Yoongi, don't do anything stupid okay? I would be able to live with myself if something happened to you. I'm not angry at you, I should've stopped you from leaving, I-" "I'm tired, I'm going to sweep" I mumbled and ended the call. I dropped my phone on the floor. I felt myself being pulled into the darkness and just let it consume me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hey guys, hope you liked this chapter. I will upload the next chapter soon, I got a job as an assistant for the next three weeks so I'll only be able to write at night and on weekends.

Also I can't believe this book has 9.4k reads!!!! I'm soooo happy that you guys really like it!💜

-XOXO 😘