He Might Be Bad But He's Mine

What Did I Just See?

Jordan

We've been awake for hours now and we just laid in each others' arms while my Spotify playlists played over and over because we haven't moved from the same position for nearly 4 hours.

James runs his hand through my hair as he scrolls through his Instagram. I see him comment on this girl's picture and leave a like. She looks really pretty. Honestly I'll never look like her. If that's what he really likes then sadly for him that's not what I am. I'll never look like that or act like her or even do all the work she does to look that way.

James smiles and I look over to see him messaging someone. That's obviously not me.

I abruptly get up without a warning and walk into the bathroom and slam the door. I sink to the floor and hold my head in my hands as I cry thinking about what I'd just seen. Who was that and why was he smiling so big? Was she what he really wanted?

I hear James get up a walk over to the bathroom door and he stands there for a minute then he knocks on the door.

"Jordan?" He asks from the other side of the door.

I didn't respond.

"Babe?" He says again trying to get me to respond.

Still no response.

"Are you okay?" He asks sounding genuinely concerned.

"I'm fine. Go away." I say continuing to cry.

"Why're you crying?" He asks.

"You know why you fucking jerk." I say.

"I don't know or I wouldn't be asking in the first place." He says.

"Shut the fuck up and leave me the fuck alone." I say.

"Open the door babe." He says.

"No."

"Why not?"

"I'm fucking done playing your games and tryna fuckin measure up to all these whores. You do whatever the fuck you want. I don't give two shits anymore. Go live your life the way you want to." I say.

"I have no idea what the fuck you're saying. What the fuck are you talking about Jordan?" He asks.

"You know exactly what the fuck you did. Now leave me alone." I say.

"I'm gonna go to my room. When you feel like you wanna talk you can come out here and talk to me instead of yelling cuss words at me through the bathroom door while you're clearly in pain even when you say you're fine." He says.

"Fine. Now go away." I say.

"When you're ready to talk I'll be right out here waiting for you." he says.

I hear his footsteps leave the room and go across the hall. I still stay in my position with my arms pulled up to my chest with my face in my knees. I lean against the door.

Why would he deny what he just did when I literally just saw him fucking like her picture and then leave a comment?

I guess imma make this my new headquarters because I'm trying to go out there for him to sit there and talk on and on about how he loves me and only wants to be with me and all his other shit. I really don't wanna hear it. I'm fucking done.

Most people would say I'm way too harsh but I've grown up with James. I can say and do whatever the fuck I please. I know him like the back of my own hand and he has the balls to sit there and lie to my face.

I'm not harsh. I love him and I will never understand the shit he does sure but I do wanna know why he lied to me about it.

It's one thing to do something or say something but then when you deny it that just pisses me off.

-Two hours later-

I stand up and unlock the door.

I walk cautiously out the door and into my room. I grab my laptop from the nightstand and sit on the bed. I message my brother to let him know that I'm with grams and gramps and that James has been here to take care of me. Let him know I'm fine and that I love him.

He messages back basically saying that he's doing fine and trying to handle mom's death. He loves me too and can't wait to see me. He hopes I have fun at grams and gramps' house.

We're just gonna leave out the part where grams walked in on us about to have sex and then told gramps about it. We're also gonna leave out the part where James and I are sleeping in the same room and the same bed. Most importantly we aren't gonna tell him about what just happened with James because he would no doubt beat the shit out of James and I at least want an explanation for why he lied about what he did.

Maybe Brandon can beat the shit out of him after I get my answers. I'm not really sure yet.

I close the laptop after B let me know he had to leave because Lauren his girlfriend had just come home and their gonna go out to dinner and catch a movie.

I'm glad he has Lauren to take care of him during this time of need just like I have James. Or at least I think I do.

If you're sitting there texting another girl while I'm laying in your arms then your fucked up.

"J is that you babe?" He says and I look in his room to see him sitting on his bed on his laptop watching a movie.

"No." I say.

"You wanna talk?" He says.

"No I don't wanna fucking talk you asshole. I want an explanation for why the fuck you're texting another girl and commenting and liking her pictures while your fucking holding your girlfriend in your arms." I say.

"I wasn't doing that." He says.

"Then what the fuck were you doing?!" I yell.

"Cuz that's surely what the fuck it looked like!" I yell louder.

"Please don't yell babe." He says.

"I'm not gonna fucking stop yelling until I get an explanation." I say.

"Can you sit down so we can talk about it. I mean it. Talk not fucking yell at me while I try to explain what you seem to think you saw." He says. He sounds angry but I honestly don't care.

"Fine." I say sitting down on his bed putting space between us.

This better be good.