The First Time

Loss

It's a warm August day while Jackie, Bella, and Brad go for a walk at the nearby park. She and Brad have been quiet for most of the ride, with the exception of Bella singing her ABCs over and over again.

Brad had decided like his father, brother, and Jack, he will be attending Harvard.

While she is happy for him. She has been down this road before and again she feels like they should just be friends to protect her heart from being hurt again.

"I got my roommate and dorm assignment today."

"That's great," Jackie replies, "did you and Mike get to room together?"

"No, he's in the room next door."

"Oh, hopefully, they'll let you switch roommates," Jackie replies.

"Yeah, hope so."

They don't say anything for another five minutes.

"When do your classes at Vassar start?"

"August twentieth," Jackie replies.

"Good."

"When do you move in?"

"Next week on Monday."

————

Later on that night Jackie is lying in bed thinking about earlier.

It wasn't easy but she felt that she had to do what she needed to do to protect herself from getting hurt again. She liked Brad and he had been a wonderful boyfriend in the year they were together. She couldn't go through it all over again.

She looks over at the clock and it reads a little past twelve am.

Suddenly her mind drifts to Jack. She couldn't help but wonder if he was asleep or up. Should she call him because she needed someone to talk to?

Over the last year, she and Jack have developed a close friendship as well as a good co-parenting relationship. She likes that they are friends and happy that he tries to be very involved in Bella's life when he is home. Even though from time to time he still tries to flirt or make a pass at her; which she politely declines.

There are times she yearns for him to hold her close. Blush when he would flirt with her. FaceTime him just so she could see his face and hear his voice, use Bella as an excuse to call. Whether she liked it or not she does love Jack, because of how close they have become.

Jackie turns over and tries to go to sleep. She lies there for five minutes before getting restless. She picks up her phone that now says it's quarter past midnight.

She plops back down into her pillows and sighs. Right now the goal is to go to sleep, but her busy mind won't let her rest.

After tossing and turning for twenty more minutes she sits up.

Jackie turns on the light and unlocks her phone. She decides to call Jack.

Remember Jackie he said to call him day or night no matter what's wrong, she thinks about what Jack told her before going back to school after Christmas break.

She decides to FaceTime him and she waits a few seconds. He doesn't reply meaning that he is asleep.

Soon as she puts her phone down, her phone vibrates.

Looking at the screen she sees that he is returning her call. Accepting the call his face fills the screen. From the looks of it, he was asleep considering the only light seems to be coming from his phone.

"Jack, I'm sorry. I was hoping you were still awake. I can call you in the morning," Jackie replies.

"It's fine," he replies before yawning, "I just closed my eyes."