Even lovers drown (Jerrie)

Part nineteen

Perrie:

One month later

"Merci Paris, bonsoir" Jade shouted to the intimate crowd gathered that we had just played to. I loved our acoustics sets that we did for promo, I always thought they were the best showcase of our voices. I followed the girls off the stage, still feeling the buzz of adrenaline from preforming.

"Well done girls" Sam cheered as she walked towards us "So you know the drill" she continued as we all headed back towards our dressing room. "You're free all day tomorrow, Sunday we have our flight back to London and then your week off"

"Thank god" Leigh-Anne groaned "I'm so looking forward to just doing nothing"

Sam fixed her with a disapproving stare.

"By do nothing I obviously mean writing a killer song for the album"

Sam rolled her eyes while laughing and pushed the door the the dressing room open "20 minutes and were out of here girls"

I went to the couch and sat down, immediately closing my eyes, listening to Jes and Leigh discuss what club to go to tonight. I felt a weight drop into my lap as a gentle kiss was placed on my cheek.

"Hi baby"

A wide smile filled my face as I snuggled into her neck and placed a kiss there.

"You okay?" She questioned, massaging my scalp.

"I'm great, everything is perfect" I said, pulling back so I could look in her eyes. She smiled down at me, forgetting myself,  I started to lean in before a loud squeal by Leigh-Anne distracted me.

"Jade" she called "oh my god" she squealed again.

Jade and I both looked over at her, smiling at her bizarre behavior. 

"What's up with you?" Jade asked laughing as Leigh hurtled towards us, phone in hand.

"Look babe" she shoved the phone into Jade's face, clapping her hands while she did. I glanced over Jade's shoulder to see Jed's Instagram profile.

"What exactly am I ment to be looking at?"

"Look at his story" Leigh said "it's actually so cute, I can't even deal with it"

Frowning I looked up at Jade, she looked just as confused as I felt but nevertheless she clicked on Jed's story. A picture of Jade and Jed from the first date in Paris filled the screen, underneath was written 'On my way petal'.

My heart sunk. I looked up, expecting Jade to look surprised, but she didn't, it anything, she looked guilty. Why would she look guilty?

"Oh wow, he's such a romantic" Jade cooed.

I honestly felt like I was going to be sick. I gently pushed at Jade's back, she looked at me quizzically but stood all the same. Once she was off my lap, I walked shakily over to my bag and grabbed a bottle of water from it. I couldn't wrap my head around this, did she already know he was coming here, and if she did how could she not tell me. It was one thing cheating with Jade when Jed wasn't around, it was completely different when he was here. I could already feel the guilt seep into me.

I could hear Jade and Leigh fanning over how cute Jed was and what he and Jade could do for their time in Paris together. Had she no morals, how could she even look him in the eye. She was going to sleep with him in a bed that we had sex in this morning. I felt bile rising in my throat. She doesn't care about you Perrie. That's why this is so easy for her, get it through your thick skull. She. Does. Not. Love. You.

The words seemed to finally sink into my heart. Jade doesn't love me. Jade will never love me. I expected the world to fall apart and for me to fall with it, but it didn't happen. I felt nothing. Empty. Like the revelation that I would always love someone who would never feel it back had made an ice settle inside me.

"Okay girls the van is here" Sam called, jolting me out of my thoughts. I grabbed my bag and made my way towards the door. I felt a hand slip into mine, tan against ivory. The small contact made my heart flutter and ache all at once.

"Please Jade" my voice sounded small and vulnerable as I pulled my hand from hers "don't".

I didn't dare look at her face. You need to be strong Perrie, I thought to myself, just a few days and you'll be back in London and you can break apart then. I took a steadying breath and followed Leigh towards the waiting van.

Thankfully Jade seemed to listen my plea and sat in the front with Leigh-Anne. Jesy slid into the seat beside me, without a word she grasped my hand in hers and gently squeezed.

"Everything okay Pez?" I caught Jade's eye in the rear view mirror before I turned to Jesy.

"I'm great, everything's perfect"

- - -

We excited the car and entered the lobby of the hotel, my hand still wrapped up in Jesy's. No sooner had we entered then Jade ran past me and straight into Jed's arms. He wrapped his arms around her waist, picking her up slightly, as Jade's delighted screams and giggles filled the room.

I tried to school my face and force a smile onto it as they walked toward us, wrapped up in each other.

"Hey girls" Jed cheered happily, "it's so good to see you"

"Jed this is honestly so cute that you came to surprise Jadey" Leigh-Anne gushed.

"Well to be honest I did tell her around two months ago but she obviously forgot" he placed a kiss to Jade's temple "must have had other things on her mind".

Jade's eyes met mine at that. So she did know. Fantastic. I tried to control the wave of anger that crashed over me, why was she treating me like this. She was ment to be my best friend.

"Jeez Pez ease up on my hand" Jesy snapped me out of my thoughts. I looked down, surprised, to see I had her hand in a death grip.

"Oh, sorry" my voice sounded shaken, like I was about to cry. Jade looked up at me again, she looked hurt. I scoffed, what could she possibly be hurt by. I was the one who should be hurt, I was the one blinded by devotion and being used for casual sex whenever she wanted me.

I was sick of being weak when it came to Jade. This time I was going to act strong, this time I'd show her I didn't need her.

"Should we go get ready?" I asked, looking anywhere but Jade.

"Jed and I are going for dinner first, we'll meet you out though"

"That sounds perfect guys, enjoy" Leigh-Anne happily replied.

I gave them a small smile, waved and walked towards the lifts. Okay Perrie, all you have to do is get through two days pretending your heart isn't being ripped from your chest. You're strong enough for that right.

It's two days.

I can do two days.

It's fine.

Right?