Perrie:
I awoke the next morning to birdsong and a brightly lit sitting room. I still had my letter to Jade clutched in my hands, standing I made my way to the writing desk that stood infront of the window. Grabbing an envelope, I placed the letter inside, writing a number 'one' in the top hand corner and placing the letter into an old shoe box that I found on the floor.
I glanced out the window. Although it was early a few people walked by, probably on their way to work. Funny, I thought to myself, the world keeps on moving even though for me it feels like the center has fallen out. I wiped a stray tear from my face, I had to be strong today. Little mix ment everything to me, I couldn't be the one to destroy it.
Trying not to think about the day ahead I returned to my bedroom where Jesy was still sprawled out asleep on the bed. I smiled at the sight of her, my first smile in days, I was lucky to have her. She was more than I deserved.
Sighing I walked into the bathroom, turning on the shower and letting the cool water crash over me. When I couldn't handle the cold any longer I got out and wrapped myself in a towel, I could faintly hear movement in my room, meaning that Jesy was up. I knew Jess was going to want to talk about Jade but it wasn't like I could avoid her. Resigned to my fate, I stepped into my room.
"Morning"
Jesy turned around, her face looked concerned.
"Pez, what the fuck, your lips are blue" she reached out to touch my arm "your bloody freezing"
I shrugged her arm off, walking over to my wardrobe to get some clothes out.
"You were just in the shower how-" she stopped "Perrie, why were you having a cold shower?"
"No hot water" I mumbled. I wasn't about to tell Jesy that I couldn't bring myself to believe I deserved to have anything but ice cold water wash over me.
I pulled out a pair of skinny jeans and a black long sleeved crop top, turning around I walked back into the bathroom and got changed. I couldn't risk Jesy seeing my scars.
When I came back out Jesy had her hair done and was applying makeup. She glanced up at me as I walked out.
"Why won't you get changed in front of me?"
Trust Jesy not to beat around the bush.
"I have my period" I lied.
I avoid her eyes and busied myself with applying some light makeup and drying my hair. I tried not to focus on how my jeans kept slipping, obviously I had lost more weight than I had realized.
"The car will be here soon"
Jesy appeared beside me, handing me a belt with a pointed look. I took it and flashed her a small smile.
"I know you don't want to talk about it but I need to know something before we go to this interview"
I nodded, knowing that she wouldn't leave it alone.
"Does she know?" She asked "Does jade know your in love with her"
I nodded again, digging my nails into the palm of my hand to stop myself from crying.
"She doesn't feel the same"
I dug my nails deeper.
"It's fine" I cleared my throat "I'll get over it"
The lie reverberated around my heart.
- - -
Thankfully Jesy and I were the only two in the car. Leigh-Anne was being brought by Andre and Jade was meeting us there. I kept my eyes closed throughout the journey, trying to avoid Jesy asking any more questions.
![](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/183431789-288-k304949.jpg)
YOU ARE READING
Even lovers drown (Jerrie)
RomanceLittle mix find themselves at the height of their fame. A two time Brit winning group and the biggest girl band of their generation. What's not to be happy about? Perrie can think of a few things- and one of those is her band mate Jade.