Caught

Chapter 23

HARRY

Today we have to go to school.

“I’m scared.” I say to Lou.

“Everything will be okay, we aren’t the out people who are ‘out’ at school.” He says, putting his hand on my lap.

We are in the car, driving. The closer we get to that place, the more flips and turns my stomach does.

I give Louis a weak smile.

“Don’t worry.” He says, rubbing my leg.

Louis and I had sex today.

That was the first time I had sex with anyone.

It was wonderful.

We pull up to our school.

My body freezes.

I don’t think I can do this. My body is shaking and Louis looks like he is about to throw up.

He slowly gets out of the car and walks over to my side. He opens my car door and reaches for my hand. He wants me to get out but my body won’t let me. I don’t want to do this. I just want to go back home.

“Come on Harry. It is going to be just fine. You will see.” He’s lying to himself as well as me.

It won’t be fine. It will never be fine again.

He grabs my hand and leads me out of the car. My head is spinning.

“Lou please, can’t we just go home and do this another day?”

“No, your mom is letting me live with you guys and I will do whatever she says. If she wants us to try and go to school, we are.” He says, walking towards the campus.

He has my arm and won’t let go so I can’t turn around.

“You have to give me some pills.” I say.

I know I shouldn’t, but I need to. I will feel much better if I had to deal with all of this while I was high.

I start to think about the other kids I met at the hospital. How they tried to kill themselves with pills. I don’t think I will do that. As long as I have pills, I will be okay. They take away the pain of wanting to kill myself.

Louis stops and turns to look at me. He looks surprised.

He then reaches into his pocket and pulls out the small orange bottle.

He opens it and two small pills fall out. He hands them to me and then pours out two more for himself.

We look at each other as we throw them into our mouths and swallow.

It doesn’t take long for the effects to kick in. We are both used to it by now. It’s like learning how to swim, it’s scary at first, but eventually it’s nothing new.

“Can we go now?” He asks.

I nod my head as we continue walking.

 

            We have our first class together. The closer we get to the door, the more nervous I get. Nobody has seen us yet, everyone must be in class already.

Louis stops.

“Okay, let’s do this.” He says, taking a deep breath before opening the door.