Partner in crime-liskook

9- I'm so sorry

Right after he left me, I stared into the air. I was in shock. I never actually thought that he would ever lay his hands on me like that. I'm not really scared anymore, because I've been choked and nearly been murdered before in my job, but this is Jungkook.

I really do care about him, I almost look up to the person he is. He is so confident in his job, he isn't afraid of anything and he finds himself as the best agent in Asia. He kills and doesn't regret it at all, he lives and would do anything for his job. I'm not so sure about myself, I'm still trying to figure out who I am and if this is the life I want to live. Right now, this is what I want. I want to overcome my fears, learn from him, and save South Korea. I can be lucky enough to call myself a life saver of millions of people along with him. Right now, this is what I want, and a little unnecessary moment here with Jungkook won't change it.

He thought I was someone else and was here to ruin his plan, he was wrong and that's it. Fights and confrontation like this is normal if you're doubting your work partner. I need to remind myself not to be so sensitive when this is what I do for a living. Even though I wish he would have pulled out a knife instead of a gun. That's what scared me the most. He threatened that he would kill me. But I know he would never do that.

It doesn't change the fact that he has been spying on me and my past. He knows everything about me. Probably even more than myself. I need to ask him about what he found out. My parents worked in a car shop, but we were very wealthy with lots of money. They died when they were out on a date. They said they were going on a date.  I was left home alone for hours and when they didn't return the next day I knew something was wrong. The police came to me two days later and told me that they were both murdered by a gang leader. He was from Japan, I think.  I was 12 at that time.

Later I became a little rebel. I was so hurt that I didn't care about anything anymore. Not school, not friends, not anything, except revenge. Bad guys killed my parents. I wanted to hurt them so bad. But my plan slowly vanished the older I got. I had to remember that I had a whole life ahead of me and I wouldn't spent it on revenge anymore.

I lived an ok life with my not so caring foster parents until I was 16. I was at a party and going home from it alone. I wanted more air so I took a long way home. That's when I got raped and shot. All I remember is me screaming in pain and then waking up in a bed. I super nice bed. It turned out that a boy named Bambam had found me that night and didn't hesitate on saving me. He called for help and 10 days later I woke up from a coma. They took out the bullet, stitched me up and I was ready to face the world again. But not exactly.

Bambam turned out to be the son of the CEO of Thailand's top secret police force department. Like the one I am in now in Korea. I told him my story and he gave me an opportunity to stay with them and train to be an agent. I said yes. That's what I wanted. I was living a boring life anyways and my revenge wound was opened up again. Two years later on my 18 birthday I was set out on the field. I took big parts in taking down the worst criminality and became the best with my knives. But then that was that. I wanted out. More challenges, more danger, I was not the best I wanted to be and I had to make a change in order for me to be better. It was a long talk with Bambam, but he let me go eventually. I still have some contact with him now. I love him dearly, like a brother. He is my life savior.

And now, I though I had Jungkook, we were close until I couple of weeks ago. When he turned cold again. I have to admit, this to
time being apart, I had slightly feeling for him. I haven't had feelings for anyone ever in my life. No boyfriends, just hook ups at parties. When Jungkook kissed me that time, I felt so good. I felt like my life was complete, but then I turned back to reality and it was a mistake. I can't say I regret it, but he surely does.