Malen'kaya Zemlya [2] [P. Parker]

2.7 Shatter Like Glass

Soon enough, I was thinking like a killer in all my fights.

Where can I hit to make the most impact and pain?

What will hurt them the most?

How much pressure would it take for me to simply strangle them?

I didn't speak unless spoken to.

I didn't eat unless forced to.

I was a shell of my former self.

I'd never thought I'd end up this way.

Never thought that I'd be fighting my friends and almost killing them.

Never thought that I would be so lost that the only things holding me down were a charm on a chain and an anklet with a tiny spider charm on it.

Those were the only things keeping me remotely human.

What would Tony think?

What would Peter think?

And...

What would Hayley think if she saw me now?

Those thoughts circulated inside my head constantly - they had to.

Otherwise, I'd lose myself to my newfound inner demons.

This was the only way.

I thought back to when Peter had given me the anklet.

It was back just after we'd defeated the opposites and got together.

On our second proper date, we went to dinner and he gave it to me.

A week later, the order I'd made after that night came in and I gave him a long necklace with a small leaf made of bronze hanging from it.

For some reason, HYDRA hadn't taken my jewellery away, leaving me fiddling with it as I sat on my own.

There was something poetic about this all.

A team, torn apart. Locked together, one missing. Taken, freed, taken again. A person they trusted betraying them.

Sounds cliche, believe me, I know.

I looked to my right as there was a scratching sound.

Renée had dragged her broken and jagged fingernails down the wall for the third time that day.

It had quickly become a habit of hers.

No one was sure why she did it, she just sat there and scraped her fingernails down it a few times a day.

"What are you even doing?" I asked. My throat was dry and sore from not having enough water and not talking much.

She turned her dull eyes on me.

For the first time facing my friend since the airport, I felt fear churn in the pit of my stomach.

My heart lurched as she stood up and leaned against the wall.

She said nothing. All she did was stare at me blankly with those dull, once blue eyes.

Louis and Ryker soon followed suit.

They were all leaning against the walls, all of us on separate ones, staring at me.

I dragged myself to stand. "What's wrong?"

"You did this," Ryker hissed, his voice scratchy and low. "You broke us."

"I broke myself too," I said quietly. "What's your point?"

Louis stepped forwards. "You consistently beat us, leaving us to be beaten, threatened and broken, and you say you're broken too? Ha." he stopped a few feet from me. "And you called yourself a leader."

"Marina's gone," Renée continued, her voice as dark and shattered as the others'. "That was your fault."

"What? How?" I asked, fear creeping into my voice.

"If you hadn't called us, she wouldn't be gone. We wouldn't be here. We'd be home. You'd be dead. How you should be." she carried on.

"W-What?" I stammered.

"You heard me." she snapped, the three of them taking slow and calculating steps forwards. "You should be dead."

They began hitting me, throwing me into the wall and beating me to the ground.

My three friends, best friends, all I had left in this dark and dreadful place, broke me, shattered me.

Just like glass.

(A/N)

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What did I do?

(I find it ironic that I'm currently listening to Lighthouse by G.R.L while Ash's friends basically, like, kill her? Honestly, I don't even know. The thing is that Lighthouse is a song about friendship so... lol?)

-lost_in_a_book__