In His House | COMPLETED

11. Trying new things

I just found out I'm #1 on Yoonminkook ranking AND JUNGKOOK HASN'T EVEN MADE AN APPEARANCE lmao

Fag.

Was he a fag?

Jimin wasn't able to get that word out of his mind the whole day.

"Jimin, are you listening to what I'm saying?" Hoseok's voice was clearly exasperated. His friend had been zoning out since weeks ago. No matter what Hoseok tried to do, Jimin was getting distant and Hoseok was hurt because his best friend was treating him the exact same way he treated other people, completely shy and distant and his answers were short.

"Yeah." Was the only thing he replied, not looking at Hoseok. Would Hoseok think I'm a faggot? Jimin was thinking, even though he hated that word.

"What was the last thing I said?" Hoseok raised a brow.

"You were talking about your girlfriend." Jimin guessed, but he was wrong.

"Jimin! What is wrong with you, why have you been ignoring me? Is there something wrong? I know I've been asking this for weeks but I never get a real answer and I'm worried about you." Jimin just shrugged and Hoseok knew he didn't want to talk about it. Again. So he just changed the topic. "So, I was asking how you're getting with Yoongi."

The truth was that Hoseok was terribly scared. He thought Jimin hadn't been talking to him because he was getting along too well with Yoongi. Maybe they're best friends now, he thought because Yoongi hadn't contacted him in almost a month. He never thought that Jimin's new strange personality was due to Yoongi treating him so bad.

"We're alright." Jimin answered. And Hoseok couldn't control it anymore.

"I know when you're lying, Park Jimin, and I know you don't want to tell me something. If you don't want to be my friend anymore because of Yoongi, just say it, don't be a pussy, man up for once and tell me the things straight to my face."

Jimin's eyes were so wide that Hoseok thought they would get out of their sockets. Jimin opened his mouth to answer, but he couldn't get his words out. And Hoseok knew that expression too well. Since Jimin became socially awkward, there were moments when Jimin was about to explode and tell all his feelings when he was too angry or sad, but he just couldn't get his words out and Hoseok was always there for him to calm him down and try to make him speak, which always leaded to Jimin crying. Hoseok and Jimin knew that the tears were coming.

"I-I I am so so sorry, Jiminie. I didn't mean to make you feel-" but before Hoseok could apologize, Jimin was gathering his stuff and just left before Hoseok could see him cry.

While Jimin ran towards his apartment, there were a bunch of questions on his mind, being repeated over and over again while his tears fell.

Why am I crying all the time? I barely cried before.
Why is everyone hurting me?
Why do I stutter when I speak? I hate it. I hate me.
Why can't I have a proper conversation now? I was so talkative before.
Why can't I express my feelings?
What are those feelings?
Why can't I leave Yoongi's house if he's treating me so bad?

Jimin arrived home and went straight to his room just to let himself sink in those thoughts again.

Why does Yoongi hate me?
How can I change for him to like me?
Why am I so stubborn trying to make him like me?
A-am I a fag? Jimin stopped crying and let out a gasp. Yoongi called him that way and Hoseok had just told him to not be a pussy and man up for once. For once?

Wasn't Jimin brave and manly? True, he had pink hair in high school, but he tried to look as tough as he could. He slept with almost every girl in high school, wasn't it enough to show his virility? He even bragged about his sexual life in front of every one. Wasn't it manly?