In His House | COMPLETED

14. Lost

I'm on vacations right now. FINALLY!

Saying Yoongi was bewildered, was an understatement. But he was more confused than bewildered. Days had passed from that evening and neither of them had shared a word, but it was clear that something had changed. Jimin seemed less restrained around his hyung and it was making Yoongi even more nervous.

Every night the older would go to sleep reliving everything they did, every word they said, especially every word that came out of his own mouth. He regretted it. He regretted saying those lies because he believed Jimin would grow even more affectionate to the elder. He would be delusional about their relationship. Yoongi wanted to clear things up before Jimin did something stupid, like confessing his love once more. Nevertheless, every time he looked at Jimin, the words got trapped in his throat and he just left.

As days passed, Yoongi was confident that Jimin had decided to forget that day, and so was he. He was sure of it because Jimin was not clingy to Yoongi now, of course the younger would welcome him every time he came from work and they even had a few small conversations at times, conversation in which Jimin seemed pretty confident and content, and Yoongi was stiff in his place, answering in auto mode.

And they decided to live like that for as long as they could, as if nothing happened. They knew they had agreed to it silently, when they smiled to each other after one got out of the shower so the other could get in, when they said their good mornings, when they ate together in silence and spared uncomfortable glances to each other when the other was not looking. And both tried to convince themselves that they were over that weird phase of themselves and that they were content now.

____________________________________

Jimin was crying.

He was crying and curled up hugging his own knees while he was sitting on the grass of that place of the campus he loved the most. that place was always lonely, just like him lately, because he had been ignoring Hoseok, feeling ashamed of himself and the things he felt, knowing his best friend wouldn't understand and he would treat Jimin just like Yoongi did and like everyone would.

The small blond boy almost jolted when he heard someone sighing beside him. He turned his puffed red face from crying, to see his best friend sitting right beside him, as if he summoned him. His almost permanent smile, was not there this time.

"I looked for you everywhere and you weren't answering your phone, so I knew you would be here." Said Hoseok, not looking at his small friend, but looking at the trees and the sun that was hiding behind them. Jimin didn't answer, not knowing what to say and believing his voice would crack.

"You always come here when you want to be alone." Hoseok added after that brief silence.

"Then why did you come?" Jimin whispered, voice a little hoarse and cracking.

"Because I know this time you didn't want to be alone. You probably thought you didn't have any option." It was true. Jimin was there because he felt like he didn't belong anywhere else. But here was his best friend, as if he knew exactly what Jimin was feeling.

Jimin sobbed harder and couldn't resist it anymore, he turned his whole body to Hoseok and hugged him for dear life. Not wanting to feel lonely any longer.

"I'm so so sorry." Jimin whispered through sobs.

"But why are you sorry?"

Jimin was sorry for many things, and he was just letting it all out, mumbling all his apologies.

"I'm sorry for ignoring you all these weeks, I'm sorry for being so confused when I shouldn't be, I'm sorry for being clingy, I'm sorry for changing and turning into this social awkward mess." Jimin's lips trembled and he buried his head in Hoseok's chest, not wanting to see his reaction. "I'm sorry for being a disgraceful son, they'll never forgive me. I'm sorry for harassing Yoongi all these years and I'm sorry for trying to be me, even though I don't even know who I am anymore."