Shadowhunters Season 4

Start of everything

I was seeing some images while I was kissing him. I was watching this memories like they belonged to some else. But also it was too complex me to understand it. I didn't understand a thing except my feelings for Jace. I didn't remember how or when however I knew that I loved him for a long time. Even though I didn't remember, I still loved him. Then he stopped kissing me. And looked into my eyes with a hope. I didn't want to let him down but I could say I love him. It would give a little hope. And maybe he could fill the blanks inside of my mind. I looked at his eyes. They were unique. They were beautiful just like him.
" Clary? Have you remembered anything?" His eyes were covered with hope. So it was to hard me to say this:
" All I can remember is my feeling for you that I love you. But I don't know how or when. I just do. I have known that the first time I saw you." but I said it. And he give that warm smile again and without any words he just hugged me. He was really strong. I could fell his heartbeats. If he didn't retreat, I would hold him forever.
" Don't worry. Everything is one by one." He said. But he stopped talking. He thought for a while. I didn't know what he was thinking but I could feel that he was trying to tell me something. But he probably didn't know how to.
" I said that I didn't know you because  you had an accident and lost your memory. Doctors said that I shouldn't push you. Because you didn't even remember me. They said that you should remember by your self. But at least you remember a little about me." He said finally. But when he was talking his words stick in his throat. After his words, everything made sense. He was probably right. It explained my feelings for him. Also the blank in my brain. I needed him to fill the blank. I didn't know why I was feeling bad about it right now. I should be happy about it. But I was afraid the truths. Jace understood me when he was looking at me. He hold my arms.
" If you don't want to know. Or if you don't want me I will leave. And never bother you."
he said gently. But I am feeling the episode actually. I want him to never leave my side.
" No. I want you to tell me. Tell me how and when I met you.Tell me everything. Good and bad just the pure truth." I said. However I could see in his eyes that he wasn't sure me to tell. I could sense his fear. But it was strange because I knew that Jace never showed his fear. But it was more stranger that I knew him so well. I kept telling me that I have known him. But it was just really hard to fell so intense. He pulled me from my thoughts when he talked.
" I promise you that I will tell you everything but now I need to go." He turned around to go however he probably have remembered something so he picked his phone up. And gave it to me.
"I will call you as soon as I deal with a situation. We can talk then." I didn't want him to go. But it seamed that he was in hurry so I wrote my number. I smiled and kissed him on chick.
" See you soon!" He said. He was there before and then he wasn't. He vanished in the dark. I didn't know how many minutes I have been standing there but I came back to world when I saw something which was lurking in the shadows. I didn't even have a time to scream when it came out...