The Potions Master

siжтуsiж: still here

What idiots! I heard their stupid argument go down, boys can be so dumb! Severus if I could I swear I'd yell at you AND remus. Rivalry between two alphas. Severus wasn't hear right now I was just alone, frozen and alone. Severus had been leaving my bedside more often. He wouldn't be able to look at me, and he stopped touching my hands. I was here. I was, I am here.

And I knew, that in days time, they will take my life away. But I couldn't wake, it was terrifying. There were so many things I wanted to say, to do, to see, but I couldn't. It was unfair, the life was unfair.

I could hear so many people crash around me, get into fights whether or not I was going to wake, who was most important to me, it was painful.

Severus, it was becoming harder to tell whether or not he was around. Seeing as most of the time he was silent.

Are you still here?

I hoped you were still there, you were the only light I had. And you are fading away. I want you... I need you. Sometimes he was the darkness, in the meanest times he could be the darkness, but I knew he never meant to hurt me so badly. So deeply, just like any human, he's made mistakes, but so have I, so have they.
I want to forgive him. I do.

~

third pov. time skip.

He had stalled them for three days. Three fucking days, and he knew, tomorrow morning was the day they were through with his pity party.

It was over. This was going to be his last night with Y/n. It'd been so long, and so much happened without her. Every one had been extremely dull and quiet, it was gloomy. Severus was tired, he grew tired of this routine. But it was going to be over in almost 12 hours. He had started to take care of himself again, not because he was moving on. But because he knew she wouldn't have wanted him to die there with her.

He rest his head against the small medical beside table, staring at her porcelain face. His fist clenched and he shivered at the cold thoughts that showered in his mind.
Without her, what more would he be? He'd go back to being the same old bat that everyone avoided and disliked. Without her, he was so small, he wanted her more than anything. He tried to hang on to his hope, to hold onto her life, clutch it, grasp it, but it faded... away.. And slipped out of his hands.

~

He was tired at this point, 3am, and when morning would arise, they'd arrive, and take her away. He held his eyes shut and rest his head on his hands, closing them. He wanted to drift to sleep, it pained him to be awake. And the perfect numbing was to sleep, he sat silent.

Y/n was wondering if he was there, she felt him, his presence, but unable to see, or hear very well, she couldn't be sure. But she felt warm, for once.

She knew when morning came it'd be the end for her, so she held unto every last moment she had. Screaming, in the darkness that held her down. For the first time, in such a long time, although it felt long... His hand slipped into hers, and she knew he was there.
Still here...

"Are you there?" He asked firmly and quietly. "I' could never miss someone more than you". He admitted, running hand finger down her cheek and moved a strand of hair out of her face.

"Without you, I'm a paper man, that was ruined by his own pair of scissors". He muttered, hoping she could hear him. "I know this is wrong". He sighed, squeezing her hand.

"But I want one last kiss, before I let you go". Those words had never felt so strong to Y/n before, she relaxed herself as she would when she was conscious, and prepared herself. Like she would when she was awake.