The Potions Master

siжтуfive: wake up

??? pov.

How many days had it been? Too many, too bloody many days. I prayed even , I was never religious, I would usually say religion was an absolute a waste of time, but I needed to. The only thing I had that I could hold onto to keep me going was that every time I touched her, her heart would go up. It expressed to me in strange ways that she knew I was here. At least I wanted to believe that.
I think it'd been a month, Dumbledore's prediction had finally gone threw, and he was hiding from the ministry. The Dark Lord every day was getting more and more angry with me, he wanted— no— needed to know what happened to her. Thank merlin he didn't know she was safe and sound, breathing. Not flat lining.

Every new day that I couldn't give him what he wanted to hear he got more and more angry, more and more upset. Imbecile.
Such a fool. But it was a lot of weight on my shoulders.

I wondered if she meant what she said, 'everyone in this room has felt love, everyone but you'.
Did she truly believe I was capable of feeling love? That touched my heart in all the right places, but as the days went on, I was starting to believe I didn't have a heart.
Everything that's ever happened to her, everything bad, was because of me. It was all in the roots. No one could change my mind about that. I had to remain practical with myself, it was true.

"Severus". I snapped out of my thoughts, before scowling and looking up, to see Madam pompfrey with a frown. I raised an eyebrow at her expectantly for an answer, impatiently waiting for her to just spit it out already.

"What?"

"There's bad news, and there's good news".

The beating of my heart that pounded in my hearts stopped, and everything inside of me that was once reluctant to speak with her, only turned to urgent need. I have to know what the news was. Now.

I could feel myself getting more and more nauseous by the second.

"She is barely hanging on".

I died when I heard that, I clenched my hand in hers.

"What's the good news?"

"That's was the good news".

My lip trembled, but I disciplined myself into not crying. I was trained for draining my emotions, so I held back. She sighed and held her hands together, my heart was racing and somehow it looked like she could tell.

"We've just finally been able to stabilize her, and she's been very lucky. Whatever spell that impacted her, hit her in the head, Severus?"

I was supposed to be trained for this.
"What?" I asked, my voice came out weak and insecure, evidently on the verge of a break down.

My gut twisted and turned, my hand shaking.

"The odds from here aren't good". She said in a low and devastated tone, looking at her feet.

"Can't you do anything?!"
I yelled, she bit her lip, flinching, but I immediately calmed myself.

"I apologize, I just—"

"Severus, I know you. It's okay, I'll.. let you be, I'm sorry".

She turned away, and left me in the small booth of curtains that surrounded her medical bed. I mustered up all my strength, and I looked at her sleeping face.