In My Mind

Chapter 3

Pure, white light encases every space around me. No walls, no people, nothing. The only thing offsetting the white, pureness of the room is the dirty, sweaty, must covered man in front of me.

"They're coming."

I stare into the eyes of the homeless man. His face is covered in bruises, a large piece of glass protruding from his neck. Blood is everywhere; pouring from his eyes, nose, mouth and even his ears. He smiles crookedly at me as he repeats over and over, "They're coming. They're coming. They're coming."

I turn away from my almost rapist and run. His laughs echoes through the air as I pump my arms, running as fast as I can.

Everything changes. No longer surrounded by the bright white, I'm running through a dark, heavily covered forest. I don't know where I am or why I'm running, but I know if I stop it'll be the end. I can't let him catch me, whoever he is. I keep running, tree limbs hitting me left and right, but I can't let it phase me. He's getting closer, I can feel it. Pumping my arms, I try to run faster but it's like my body is fighting against itself. My head is telling me to keep running, but my heart is telling me to stop. Why? Who is he?

Something runs in front of me, causing me to trip. I try to catch myself but only end up hurting myself. I wince at the feeling of wounds opening up on my hands.

A twig snaps around me, reminding me of where I'm at. My head shifts around trying to find whoever is out there. I rise to my feet about to start on my way when I hear it. A long, loud growl behind me. I turn slowly, meeting the stare of my chaser.

My heart drops. No, not him. Anyone but him. I slowly back up, unable to process who is standing in front of me. My back hits a tree, stopping me from moving any further. A sound comes from my right. My head swings toward the sound. Someone else? Just as I'm about to turn back, the darkness engulfs me, leaving me with only a pair of green eyes on my mind.

A loud noise pulls me from sleep. I turn my head and glance at the alarm clock on the nightstand next to me. 6:52 a.m. Eight minutes before it's set to go off. I lay my head back down trying to recall the dream, but nothing surfaces. I stare at the ceiling of my room, just waiting for my alarm to go off when I hear the distant sound of pans clinking together with Gran's voice coming close after. I sigh and pull myself from bed.

Making my way to the kitchen, I hear Gran muttering to herself about making sure Christina isn't late to school today. Christina is my mother. I don't know much about her, seeing as she disappeared soon after I was born.

A few weeks after Gran's diagnosis, she lost most memory of me. She goes through phases where she's the person I remember, but more often than not, Gran lives in a world from many years ago. A world where her teenage daughter and husband are still here.

I walk into the kitchen. The smell of freshly made blueberry pancakes hits my nose immediately. Pancakes were my mother's favorite apparently, however I never saw the appeal of them. Gran's head pops up from her cooking and she flashes me a huge smile.

"Christina! I was just about to wake you. I've made your favorite," Gran grins, while gesturing towards the large stack of pancakes. Her eyes travel across my face, lowering and landing on my neck. Her eyes grow wide.

"Good heavens! Christina, what happened to you? Are you alright?" Gran rushes to me, gently bringing her hands up to inspect the bruises.

"I'm fine. Really I am. I just had a little accident. They'll be gone before you know it," I say quickly. I completely forgot about what had happened the night before. Something like this is exactly what could trigger Gran into having an episode. I back out of Gran's touch, and I walk past her towards the bathroom.

"I'm just going to go grab a quick shower, okay?" I change the subject.

"Okay Christina, but if that boy hurts you again, I swear he'll regret it. I'm tired of seeing my baby girl coming home with all these bruises. It's hard enough trying to keep your father convinced to let you stay here, but if this carries on we'll be forced to send you back to them."

I halt mid step. My head swings back to Gran who is already back to the stove, making more pancakes.

What? What is she talking about? What boy? My dad? And convince Paw not the send me where? So many questions pop into my head.

"What do you mean, Gran? What boy? Send me where?" I ask in hopes of some type of explanation.

Gran turns to me, a look of confusion all over her face. Her eyes search the room and finally make their way back to the pancakes.

"Oh sweetie look! I've made your favorite. Blueberry pancakes. Now you hurry up and get ready so you can eat. We don't need you being late again."

A burst of air comes out of my mouth. Shaking my head as I make my way into the bathroom to get ready for the day. I look at myself in the mirror. So many thoughts and unanswered questions bounce around in my head. This is the most I've learned about my mom in a long time, but there was one burning question that just kept coming back to the surface.

"What the hell happened to you Mom?"